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Okay, I'm not the romantic type but I just love a good love story. Especially love-triangles or love-squares. It makes things more juicy. Though I often feel sorry for one of the characters. I like comparing things and people. I dont know why, I just do. Comparing or really think it over helps me decide things. I sometimes make things more difficult for myself. I think I always have. Sometimes I think I make problems for myself just for the hell of it and not really mean to.
Love and Hate are the words that are easy said. They are never true until they are tested, I think. Sorry, Im having one of my late night thoughts. I have been waiting Marmalade Boy. I read all volumes and watches all the English episodes. I love it. It shows that love is complicated. And you can regret your decisions. I regret a lot of things. Even saving someone from self-doom. I often wonder why I even bother with somethings. They just tire me out. I like running things in my head. How things would go like conversations or if I do this or pay this what is my result in the end. I wear out my brain think like this. But I can't help it. Its how I am. And relaxing isn't really my thing. I can try but my mind worries 24/7 about things that I shouldn't worry about. Sometimes my brain goes girly on me...especially about Matt.
When he was here for a visit, he was a total gentlemen. I was sort of glad and sad at it. I never got any really couple time with him. Our 2 dates were interrupted or shorten. And I missed him a lot when he left but as promised, I didn't cry when he left. I was really sad and went to sleep when I got home. I miss coming home from college and seeing him there on the couch. In July, I will visit him. Honestly, I think it will be the same but in reverse. *sighs* I wonder if we will ever get to be like a real couple.

School is over with for the semester and I got sick. Stuffy nose, sore throat, upset stomach, and dizziness. I felt really nauseous yesterday and my mom goes up asks me if Im pregnant. I was pissed. Just because I'm a teenager and my boyfriend came and visited and stay at my house doesn't mean we had sex. S***. Im not like any other teenager. I think ahead. With my luck, something bad would happen. Even if we wanted to, we wouldn't have. I am enjoying being an aunt. Beside I have enough cousins who are having kids. I want to finish college and get a good job before anything. Sex is complicated even if some people just do it. That's how we get a lot of kids with young parents, no one is thinking. There are some people that would be good parents. Like Lisa, she is a great mom. I knew she would be. I love Little Rozie. I like being her aunt. I plan on spoiling her while I can.