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*sighs* I really hate moving. But now it is more stressful that usual. One reason is that I'm in love. Yeah, I know. Its me saying this. I still cant believe it. We have been together for 20 full months. Starting on our 21st. Okay, before I go on and on about him, and i will, i will write the other reasons. Another reason is my best friend is pregnant. I was so excited! I'm going to be an auntie! But if i move, i will leave only a few months after its born. I dont want to move to Seattle. Its too far from the people I love. 30 to 35 hours away. I had plan to go to college here then after college I will see where my future lives but it all changed. A few months ago, if i would of told her that i was moving, she would of let me stay with her but now with the baby coming and the father moving in, i think that is a no now. I would move with Matt but I don't want to cause problems for him and his family. *sighs* the future I planned is fading again. First I planned to go to college after high school but since my dad messed up, I had to wait until spring to start. I was glad to find out about my best friend getting preg but I was sad when i wasnt the first one outside relatives to know. I was the 4th or 5th to know..... I wanted to help her with the kid. I told her I will help her at anytime. Just to asked me and I'll be over right away.
But now everything has changed. My future is blank again. I dont know what to do. Everyone says I have a year to decide but I really dont. My dad comes back for a few days for war and he plans to talk to us about us moving. I was less than 12 days to decide to either move with them, move with matt, go to college and stay in a dorm, or find a place here on my own. And no one is making it easier for me. I'm already stressed out as it is. I thought things couldnt get worse for me but they can. Thanks a lot mighty ones. I KNOW!! I shouldnt say that but...*sighs* I'm just tired of being stressed out. Sleep is the only way to relax for me and I havent been getting enough of it. Well i have but i still am drained when i wake up.
Just thinking about it all is stressing me out. *sighs more* I wish things were easier for me. The baby, Lisa, Matt, my parents, siblings, a job, moving, and college. Not including where my future lies. I dont know no more.