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Unbelievable!!!!!
I really hate men. Yes I'm sexist but I have a reason to be!
First reason why is that men don't make up their freaking minds!!!!! Or they want things they can't have. Last year and the beginning of this year. November to March were the worst months of my life. I feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about it. And I dont care who read this one because I am pissed off!!!! I have sooo much crap going on in my life right now I cant take it. I need to blow off some steam somewhere. And these d*** nightmares/memories/dreams are bugging me. LOOK!! *holds a few strands of my hair* I have gray hair and I'm only 18!!! I cant be a normal teenager at all!!! I can NEVER relax because of I have too much to worry about. And everyone doesnt think ahead!!! No one organizes!!! I have to take in charge. God why am I surrounded by stupid people!!!!

I am pissed off right now and have been a lot lately. Dont cross me right now. Im not in the mood. ESPECIALLY from the boys!!!!!! I will not put up with your huge egos! Wah! Thats all I hear. So you're feelings are hurt! I aint putting up with it. I'm not helping you recover. Go suffer and be stupid. I dont care. I have my own problems, I dont need yours.

What I hate are people who try to kill themselves over stupid things. Wah! Your live suck! Wah! No one cares about you! Wah! You are all alone! Wah!!
Thats all I hear. SHUT UP!!! D***. There are people in the world that have it worst than you. If you think about it, you are lucky to be alive. We have mothers, fathers (including mine), brothers, sisters, relatives, and friends (a few of mine) going to war! My dad came lose to dying 3 times!! He lost some of his friends. And also go people suffering from diseases or people without jobs or homes. Or food or clothes. If you want to die so bad, do it. But remember, your soul will never rest. And think of ALL the people that know you and care for you. You are never alone. Someone is always out there for you.
OH!!! AND!!!! DONT YOU DARE TAKE AVENGE OF THE PEOPLE WHO HELP YOU!!!! It F*** them up to! Dont drag people down with you.

My original entry:

Men that only want sex are pigs. Men like using girls to get what they want then they toss them aside like old toys they are no longer interest in. Though i have my boy and i love him much. He is not like that. If he was, i wont be with him. I hate men who think that they are all that, have big egos, and like being in control. I am no one's little b****. I am not someone you would mess with. I can talk for not only experience but by watching. I have guy friends and i seen or heard how they acted.

These entry is made out of guilt and rage.Guilt of not stopping it and the rage of what happen. My guilt and rage can last so long. Just by closing my eyes i remember everything that bugs me to this day. I cant stop it or block it completely. Everything haunts me. It never ends.I have nightmares of them ever now and then. I dread sleep now. I now stay up all day and night until I have out from exhaustion so I dont dream. I hate dreaming sometimes. My brain like torturing me with the past over and over again. I can never move forward. NEVER. Nor do I forgive.Dont say you're sorry if you dont REALLY mean it. I dont want it or anyone's pity. What I want is some d*** peace from everyone.

And dont say you think you know me until you see my demon. I have a demon inside me that is twist and likes causing pain and scaring people. Two sides of the same coin.
I am a twisted soul. I have been since I open my eyes to this world of hell we live in.