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Me, Myself, and I
Wow. Well, here it is my journal. The date is 7/15/07. I started Gaia yesterday (7/14/07). I'm really confused and all but most of my thoughts will be written (or typed) into this journal. I probably won't update alot so don't expect anything.
*sigh* for some reason, some of you *cough* Sooraj *cough* want to hear more about my love life or something. even though you didn't really say that, I'm pretty sure you do (though I have no idea why). lets see....my love life....Ok, lets start from the VERY beginning.

In preschool, I have a crush on 2 guys. they were friends and to make things better, they were both MY friends. one of them liked me (I didn't like him as much), the other one didn't have a crush on me (but I REALLY liked him). time went on, we left preschool, I never saw them again, yadda yadda yadda. xp

after that, I only remember my crush in 3rd grade which was awhile after preschool of course. his name was Taylor but he got many nicknames later. he (I think) found out that I liked him and (though I don't really remember) he probably rejected me. sad what are you gonna do? *shruggs*

Yay! now it gets interesting. I get a crush on a guy named Paul in 4th grade. heart blaugh heart man was he hot! he was tall, had blonde hair and blue eyes, had a GREAT attitude (seriously, I never saw him get mad...EVER!), he was super smart (only one of the smartest), he was a great athlete..heck, he was perfect! every girl LOVED him! xd back then, I was really shy. I couldn't talk to him and when recess came along, I watched him play kickball or tag or whatever game he was playing at the time from behind a tree stare yes, I was a coward. he was my first major crush (go ahead and say it *hears in background* awww! confused )

5th grade! I still freakin' ADORE this guy! he was still amazing *hears awws* STOP IT! stressed *cough* ahem sweatdrop anyways. then it happens. I get another crush! eek this guy sits in front of me or beside me in all my classes. his name's Will. he was my bestfriend besides Julie (I may talk about her later). blah, blah, blah, time passes and I realise I like Paul (the 1st guy) more than Will. I realise, Will's like my brother at school. so now that's settled.

6th grade comes and OH NO!!!!!! I can't believe it! Will's gone! so is Paul! and Julie, and all my other friends. ALL OF THEM! except for 1 (literally, I'm being honest). I still have Whitney stare scream NOW WHAT! all my crushes left! (Taylor's still there but he's changed and I don't have a crush on him anymore) well, lunch comes and Whitney and I are late so there's no more tables. gonk we really wanted to sit together no matter what! we find a place, but it's at the weird people's table sad it was the only way. so we sit there. right next to me on the end is Oatmeal (that's his old nickname so I'll use it neutral )I sorta felt weird next to Oatmeal. I had a crush on him but he didn't like me cry (shot down! burning_eyes ) doesn't matter! blaugh the year goes on and I still like him (freaky)

7th grade! I'm a runner again (a runner is the person on the side of the football field at hightime who picks up flags and other stuff that the colorguard uses). in 6th grade there was a big group...not anymore. there's hardly a handful now but there's a plus to all this! Oatmeal's there! along with Fred (Taylor...Fred's his runner nickname). now at lunch, I still get to sit with Oatmeal but sadness! Whitney left! cry confused now all I got is Oatmeal and again, I'm sitting by him. he's my 2nd big crush *hears awww* twisted I dare you to say that again! eek *silence* that's better...lol rofl now I really like him and we're doing everything together blaugh heart blaugh heart blaugh I'm so positive he likes me the same way I like him! there's no way that he doesn't, right? stare wrong. mad sad I'm not sure what happened but after football season and some weeks maybe monthes later, he starts to yell at me cry he says he hates my voice! crying emo burning_eyes he insults me and blah blah blah. crying crying crying end of year.

now 8th grade. cry Oatmeal won't talk to me crying now I have no friends. Whitney, Julie, WIll, Paul, and everyone else left! now Oatmeal hates me and I don't even know why!!! crying emo crying sigh, I lose track of time. days run together. for weeks I wouldn't laugh or anything and I didn't feel anything towards anyone. I don't think I like Oatmeal, I just wanted to know why? why did it happen? why did he suddenly hate me? I still don't know....ever since, I've never gotten a new crush. I only had 2 major crushes, no dates, no boyfriends, nothing. and that's where my love life ends....and there you go! that's it.






User Comments: [3] [add]
sooraj
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Aug 29, 2007 @ 06:28am
i am excited nut im v scared. sweatdrop i dunno why? question sometimes i feel as if im going of the edge of a cliff. what can i do. i love him, but ther is so much politics behind it. one way or the other... im getting cold feet . wat can i do? redface by the way ur child hood encouters of budding love is v intirguing 3nodding one more thing... he wants to start having babies. my mom says its natral but i feel scared. im not v good with kids. i never had sibs. my 2 bros r mentally retarded. i was alone most of my life till, Kashif came[my hubby's real name]. when im with small kids i get puzzled? have u any suggestions? in pakistan people curse women who bare v late. my mom didnot have me till ten yrs after her marrieage. there 2 stupid to know that this act is controlled by god. how will i be a good mom? have u any advice?????????????????? sad


commentCommented on: Sat Sep 01, 2007 @ 07:33pm
he wants to have kids? hmmm....well....I'm pretty good with little toddlers and babies and stuff so I guess I wouldn't mind about having kids whee but for you? hmm... confused ok! I have an idea! if I were you, I'd visit people you know that have young kids or people who HAVE HAD babies (like your parents or someone like that). I work in the nursery at my church so that's how I got good with really young children.. if your hubby wants to have kids, I would discuss it with him since you're nervous about it. try talking about why he wants to have them, why you may be nervous about it, etc. that way, both of you knows how the other feels. and I wouldn't worry about getting cold feet about going to see your husband. you haven't seen him in a while, you need to see him again. you'll be happier if you went. wink



wise_ninja_person
Community Member
sooraj
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Sep 02, 2007 @ 03:20am
thankyou for such sincearity it really helps. i just came back from the salon. Ihad a full body wax. gonk Its dosenot hurt so much. Girls have to do a lot for guys! burning_eyes But anyhow its all a matter of time. Lots of luv. heart 4laugh


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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