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I see a guy, think he's really cute, and then my brain goes stupid; Idk what it is. I was at lunch today with a friend, and I told her how crazy I am around guys who like me or who I like, and I told her how I'm meaner to those guys and cruel and really cold, and that I don't mean to be and stuff, and she completely agreed that I'm weird for it. I said it first, but the look she gave me! Obviously I'm insane; I have other people backing me up on it, but Idk maybe I'm seriously going crazy. I just really wish I could be...right around a guy. You know?
After the lunch, I went to Books-A-Million to read for awhile, and it was....not fun, but it was okay. And like normal, I was being an idiot and looking around for my "shoujo guy" (you know, the way girls in shoujo manga always run into, like, their perfect guy in random places that they like a lot (ie: Books-a-Million for me)) and like normal, no one shows up, so I eventually find something to read and sit down. About 20 minutes into my manga (it was an omnibus; it was taking awhile) I hear this weird noise and look over to see this guy coming to sit. I guess he noticed me turning to look because he turned off the sound on his MP3 (it was really really loud eek sounded like thrash metal or something; really chaotic. good choice for blasting).
Idk, I guess it was just something about him. I got super shy in like 2 seconds so I couldn't look near him for more than a split second, but he had really dark eyes. He kind of did a double take after he sat down near me (looked over again after glancing at me when he turned off his MP3), too.
I've seriously been reading too many shoujo. You wanna' know where my mind went? Immediately to all those shoujo that said he would've been a guy to talk to me. And I sat there for so long reading (it took me almost 3 hours to read; that's inexcusably horrible time for me! >P ) and for some reason, my brain kept saying "when you get up, he'll talk to you; when you get up, he'll talk to you".
*sigh*
I took too long. He probably wouldn't have talked to me anyways. So what if he was cute and listened to awesome music? After almost 2 hours, he left. And it really shouldn't bother me. I mean, I don't even know him; I'll never know him; he was just some random guy with dark eyes. We didn't talk; didn't interact. He probably thought I was crazy, but I was trying really hard to seem nice. The manga I was reading was funny so I smiled when something made me want to laugh; I normally don't smile -while reading- so I seem really emotionless to strangers (or angry). And when he dropped his MP3, I honest to God reached for it. We almost made eye contact, but I looked away too fast. I even tried to mutter "sorry" for bothering him, but it didn't make a sound. I think in my peripheral, I saw him make a face like he thought I was crazy.
It doesn't matter, and it really shouldn't be bothering me. He's just another guy that I either never had a chance with or that I missed my chance with. He's not the first; God knows he won't be the last. He's just a random guy among millions. I'll probably forget about it in a few weeks. I'll forget him and never see him again, or I won't remember him on the off chance we do meet again. That would certainly be shoujo-esque xd
*sigh* End of story, I'm just being too emotional lately. I've been thinking about relationships a lot as of late, and I even decided I don't need one, that I couldn't handle one. I'm not the type of girl who'll ever start a conversation with a stranger and end up dating him; the guy I end up with will be someone I've known forever. Because I'm awkward and shy when uncertain, and I don't know how to handle people I don't know. So there's me everyone. I'm sorry for bothering you today. See ya'.

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I feel like someday this'll be interesting to look back on. Thanks for reading.