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heart I sent my boyfriend a email on myspace, basically saying that when the time was right, tell me you love me. I felt like he did, he shows it all the damn time. He does not have to say it i realize this because the way he acts, he does s**t for me all the time, and i am so grateful. well saturday, i asked him what about the email, because he never emailed me back. He said he says he believes actions speak louder than words. That is true, but sometimes I need to hear it. I wanted him to say it, for reassurance. He would not tell me. He kept just saying well I do. I was saying you do what? He just would not say that "I love you." That is what I wanted to hear.
Of course Chris, is not good with his emotions, he was trined to not speak his mind. sad but I have slipped up just about everynight when he goes home, and said I love you. I just new that if I said it, what if chris got freaked out, or it would change our relationship. I wanted him to say it. I knew he felt the same, I knew it.
So my brother came outside and Chris told Matt what had happened. And matt said that some people just need to hear it. Chris said it is that masculinity thing. that he does not speak feelings, he does not know how. Matt said just say it if you feel it. whee He turned and looked at me..."Heather, I adore you. I would do anything for you. I love you." heart heart heart heart heart
I felt so happy, like damn this is happiness. I have felt it. I love this damn boy. Yet there is still that small inchling. of this is too good to be true. What if he changes his mind, starts acting different, or just chooses some other girl.
I want to spend the rest of my life with him. For the longest time I have always had a small fear of being tied down and grow old with kids and a husband. Although, with Chris it just seems like a fantasy. cry It seems way to good to be true. Like he will leave at any minute and just watch me fade.
Everyone says "heather, you worry too much" I dont worry too much you just worry too little. Another thing, why is it you keep telling me this and it never stops happening.
Although, when i start back to school, and he starts work. We will only see each other on the weekends. What if he gets tired of me. I guess this will be the true test. I hope he does not give up.
 Orchids of Apocalypse · Mon Aug 20, 2007 @ 09:49pm · 1 Comments |
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