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crying i realize now that i am a moron.(yes, yell at me if you want) i sent a chain...and have sent an apology PM. I will not explain anymore than i have to, but i feel worthless, stupid even. I feel as if i shouldn't exist. I've always felt this way, not because of things like this, but people. I've been teased since...i believe it was preschool-now. i'm starting to believe people when they say i have no friends, because nobody cares about me. i never talk at lunch because nobody talks to me. why do i get upset so easily? its my way of getting some attention for once. rin, im sorry i exploded at you at lunch the other day, i don't know what happened.
It would seem that everyone has to do a little better than me at everything. math, english, anything at all, you name it. even probably being beleived for telling the truth! That's right. You heard me. Nobody believes me, nobody likes me, everyone hates me. I'm not gonna commit suicide, im not EMO, but im feeling depressed.
People say 'you have no reason to be depressed', then they don't know me very well. Ever wonder why i am so weird? I'm not weird, you are all just too normal, too...what's the word? I've always been thought of as looking like a guy. i used to have short hair. a waiter had to ask if i was a guy or a girl. do you know how that feels? to not have ppl know your gender when they meet you? chik, sango, rin, bomba, zuzu, aqua, you all have long hair...you can't complain about being mistaken for a guy, that's why i'm so mean to you, because everyone else is mean to me. im not used to having friends other than ashleigh. she's...kinda sarcastic. most of the remarks i say are meant to be sarcastic, but she's right, im not good at sarcasam; so it comes out as being mean, snobbish, bossy, and just plain sour. i am sorry if i have said anything in the past to upset any of you, and please forgive me for the chain.