*sigh* gah... so frustrated...
No, it's not my wrists that frustrate me at the moment... I've come to realize that there's nothing I can do but wait to see a specialist or something. I'm stuck using any means necessary to use them different ways and still do what I want.
Neh, what's frustrating me now is RP. I joined two that I was hoping I would enjoy... One is here on Gaia, a remake of an RPed I'd fully enjoyed before. Now, though, it seems I'm not up to speed on something... I feel like some kind of fifth wheel. Everyone seems to know each other except me. Everyone has managed to get their characters to meet someone elses, except me. Everyone seems to be so much more creative at posting and everything... not me. I'm like... useless and I feel like I'm intruding or something. Like I shouldn't even bother.
And then the other, I was invited to join the forum, enjoyed theidea, and signed up. I figured I would try out something different for a change, play around. The character idea was good, or to me it was. Unfortunately, I've come to find I can't really play the character. What bugs me is the person I'm RPing the character with won't come out and say it sucks, but instead chooses to ignore the post. I haven't had too much of a chance to play the character right; I think I mostly started out wrong. But my 'partner' isn't even giving me a real chance, even though she says it was ok when I told her I'm new to the kind of character and I have to get used to it.
I just wish people would come out and say 'go away' or something. It makes me so paranoid and moody to think I'm being lied to, or avoided, or that I suck even though everyone says it's ok. It's not ok, dammit, tell me so! Stop trying to save my feelings, you only make it worse! If I suck at the character, tell me so I don't have to make a damn fool out of myself!
I hate making myself look stupid... I wish people would just help out and tell me when I'm doing something wrong. Hurt my feelings, I don't care...it hurts worse when you lie and ignore and I'm forced to pretend everything's fine and dandy in my ignorance...
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Bombay's Random Writings
Random randomness from the mind of a wierd little person.
That would be me.
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