the more I learn the more I feel pain..
I guess knowledge is not good at all..
the past of my family hurts to hear, as the days pass I learn more, it hurts, it would hurt you too..
arange marriege is awfull, yet my parents want me to do so too..
want me to marry a guy they will find for me..
I want to marry because of my love for that person...
to bad that person is on the other side of the world........
......
I mis him, it hurts my heart if he doesn't reply with in 3 minutes..
I love him... 10 months.... over 5 days.. it would have been 11 months...
I hope he'll be online so I can congradulate him...
I'm so sorry Javier...
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I wanted to tell, yet I didn't, he loved someone else...
I was close to embarresment, yet he was first..
I lost the game, and so my hope.
RL is the new lie.... and the virtual wold? is just the same...
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I'm kind of dating, with my ookami, we both have our hearts for each other, yet for our ex's too..
he understands, I do so too..
he's sweet and nice, alot older then me but who cares?
yet again, he knows I love my ex...
I'm afraid to hurt ookami, afraid to do something wrong...
like I always do...
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Esena's Diary
Just me, typing something now and then.
a story, a poem, a haiku, a reminder, how my day went, whatever I come up with..