I'm such a b***h. . .
Today. . as it turned out. . is my wifey's last day. . . I cried. . . But of course I didn't let her see it. . . I think. . . I don't know if she saw when she tried to give me a hug and I just walked past her. We went to the donut shop, Adam, Anna, Etzel and I. . . At some point. . . Me and Adam (my ex) Were ahead of Etzel and Anna. . . Childishly. . . I looked at him and tugged on the sleeve of his jacket, shaking my head, the rain mixing with tears. "I don't want her to leave." I said. He looked at me strangely for a minute, He's not used to the girl who beats him up to start crying even though he''s seen me like that before. Who knows. . Maybe it was the rain?
He hugged me but said nothing other than "it'll be okay." Anna and Etzel caught up and we walked together and yet seperate at the same time . . . I refused to even look at Etzel, let alone talk to her. . . At some point though. . . I grabbed her arm an Adam and Anna walked ahead of us. Neither of us said anything. . I just clang to her arm as we walked. We reached the donut shop and I turned to ice. . . I said a few rude things to her and on our way back I smacked her arm. . . Or was that when I was still at the donut shop?
We got back to school, late yet again, and ate our donuts before heading to class. Adam left first and then me and Etzel at Anna's wishes so she could finish her donut and we wouldn't be super late. As we left, I warmed back up to Etzel, told her I love her and to take care. She of course said "You too" and I said "yeah, right."
Then on my way to this class I saw her in the hall, snuck up behind her and smacked her in the back of the head with my sketchbook and said nothing. After a few minutes she said "If you want to be mad at me then fine be mad at me. I just don't understand why you want to spend your last day hanging out with me being pissed off at me."
I opened my mouth to speak but closed it and shook my head. Her words hurt. . But then again I'm sure how I was acting hurt more. . . I guess . . I was hoping that If i pushed her away as fast as I can before she left. . . that it wouldn't hurt. . . I didn't think about how she would feel when I acted that way. . . But then again. . She didn't think about how Anna and me, and everyone else would feel when she told us she had planned to send a mass message on facebook telling us all that she was leaving. . .
I see her after this class in a few minutes. . . Maybe. . . hopefully. . . I'll be able to talk to her and apologize. . .
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Aura_Rose_Krzyk
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