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she was my friend...and i use was for a reason...we're not anymore because of what she did, she's a bad memory, and going back to her would only rekindle the fire that burned away the last of my happiness and childish dreams...she made me tough, and realize the deceptions of the world, now i stand on my own 2 feet as she begs for my forgiveness and friendship, i will deny her every time, i've already wasted too much time on her, and i don't plan on ever going back to her...EVER! If she's really sorry, then she wouldn't have done it, she would've stopped long before the tears poured down my cheeks, but not even then did she stop, instead of telling me sorry then, she smirked and laughed running around, while i sat there fighting the tears, she tried to take pictures of me, then, the next day, she would ask if i was alright, or if i was angry at her, i would always say i wasn't, and suck it up, and this happenned many times...let's just say i'm done, she didn't stop then, and there will always be a fear in my heart that it will come back, as long as that fear remains, i can never go back to her...idk who she is now, but i know all too well who she was...she knew me back in the middleschool days, but she didn't see me as i changed, she'd prolly think i was the same old me, but i change constantly, always gaining a new perspective on everything, that is the life of an artist, in which she was not fit to handle...

i try to express myself, and find somebody who can understand my problem...or at least comfort me...but all i got was crap...being told i am a typical crybaby teen who can't deal with reality...though i can be frail, and i think many unrealistic things, i KNOW that what i feel isn't normal, and that wat i do isn't that bad...i don't ask for u to pity me, or give me stuff, or even say nice things, i just ask that u don't assume that i'm ur stereotypical freak!!! cuz i'm not a princess with evil step sisters, nor am i at a ball with a flowing dress, i'm a simple person in a normal house with enough friends and things to get me by plus some, but for some reason i still feel tempted to jam the knife through and end this suffering...but the more i try to turn my life around, the worse it gets, the more it hurts to even be ridiculed, and i don't know y! i'm faced with the pain of not knowing anything about myself...the last thing i need is somebody telling me i'm wrong for something that i don't even want!!! scream