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I had a conversation with Carlos today. I had called during sixth period to ask him if he was okay, since today he hadn't attended school. I shouldn't have gone either, but he had said he needed to talk to me during lunch so I went. I made him lunch because I care that he hasn't had money to eat lately.
Anyway, he wasn't there so I had my friend Tori call his house during sixth period and then give the phone to me since his sister's a stupid b***h and doesn't like me. I asked if he and I were still going to the movies after school, and he said no. I then asked if he wanted to come and talk to me after school, and he said, "No, I don't think I should."
"So," I say in a rather happy tone. "Talk to me now." (Mind you, I was in class. I was in the lighting box though, so when Tori left I was virtually alone.)
"Well, my family sat down and spoke to me last night. They said that if I wanted to pursue a relationship with you, I'd be on my own. I wouldn't have a place to live and they wouldn't want me in their lives."
"I thought they said they'd support you no matter what..."
"Well they can't be in my life if I'm with you. We can't even be friends."
So his family would kick him out if he was even my friend. Hm, and he tells me my family doesn't love me? Yah, I can see how his family is better than mine.
So, after a conversation of me trying to tell him, "That's not right, that's not what family is about..." It still ended up with me having lost everything, even now my best friend, so I said, "******** you." And hung up the phone, then spent the remainder of the 45 minutes of 6th screaming and crying in the lighting booth with no one to comfort me because no one heard me. Bell rang, I drug myself off the floor, attempted to look normal as I went down to the stage and grabbed my stuff, my friend Eric asked if I was okay, I broke down and yelled, "I ******** hate people." And tried to walk to the theater door. I fell to my knees when I was nearly there, and couldn't breathe because I was crying so hard.
The only people to come comfort me was Cassie, Eric and Cassie's BF Ian. No one else, no one who has ever said that they'd be there for me, although you could probably hear me crying from the hall. No one but those three cared at all.
So as I sat there crying over a guy who doesn't even ******** deserve a friend, they told me that "He doesn't deserve you," "His family is ******** up," "His family isn't a good family," "They're not good people." I know this. But how can I get over a guy who's child I miscarried? How can I ******** get over a guy who lied to me for a year? His sister ******** BEATS his niece, and she's still forgiven, but his family can't forgive me. I understand, but how can he choose between someone that loves him more than her own god damned life, and people that would KICK HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE if he chose to be with her? I understand family is important, but what they're doing is so ******** wrong it's sickening. And he actually thinks they love him? "We'll kick you out if you do something that makes you happy."
******** that.