found on fanfiction
Disclaimer: I feel insulted that nobody recognizes my ownership of FMA. …Which would be because I don’t, really, but a girl can dream.
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Insulted
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“Where’re you going?” Ed asked, golden eyes following his lover’s form as Roy dragged himself out from under the covers. It was still early in the night; Ed knew Roy was more than capable of lasting at least another couple rounds.
Roy shot an impish grin over his shoulder. “I’m just getting some water. Don’t worry Ed. I’ll be right back. And then we can continue our games. Don’t miss me too much.” He dodged the pillow the blonde threw at him, chuckling, as he headed towards their kitchen.
Edward sighed, feeling the empty bed. Before he could take another breath, his lover’s form was standing in the doorway, set and ready to go. “Wow, that was quick,” he acknowledged, surprised but impressed, as he pat the empty space beside him. “Come on; the bed’s way too cold without you, jerk. No wonder you’re called the friggin’ Flame.”
Smirking, the man moved forward, hands suspiciously bare. The Fullmetal crinkled his forehead, feeling uneasy as he sensed something off somehow. Then, “Where’s your water, Mustang?” Roy always brought a filled cup back with him, just in case he’d need more water during the course of his and Ed’s ‘nights.’ He usually brought back the extra water so he wouldn’t have to get up again, anticipating Ed’s energy and enthusiasm. And this night was certainly looking to be long and enjoyable indeed.
“I, uh…drank it already.” The voice cracked a bit before flowing into Roy’s smooth, suggestive tone.
The blonde’s internal radar went off again, blaring warning sirens in his head as the man continued towards him. He was never scared of Mustang; that was one of the main reasons they were so compatible. Neither of them would bow to the other out of fear, only shared respect. “Roy, you’re scaring me. Something’s not right. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Fullmetal pip-” the extremely familiar voice answered, hurriedly cutting short the last word, as if he was remembering something important. Such as the fact that Ed hated to be called short, and would often throw a cute tantrum if anyone so much as mentioned something as being small. It wouldn’t suit the mood, the plan of seduction, if Ed was to overreact now.
The young alchemist started to glare before realizing something. It was an unspoken rule between the two lovers that Roy never call Ed short in bed. Of course, Roy often did it anyways, just to spite the blonde. Only he usually waited until Ed couldn’t think coherently, and so wouldn’t understand – or remember – being insulted. And he always got transmuted to the couch for three nights following if Ed caught him at it. The fact that Roy was asking for death right before what promised to be a very exciting adventure under the bed sheets was ridiculous. Roy Mustang was smarter than that. And Ed knew it.
“Who the hell are you?” he finally spat, gathering said bed sheets around his waist to appear decent.
A perfect eyebrow lifted over one eye, a usual quirk of the older alchemist’s when Ed was being ‘silly.’ Another smooth, velvet chuckle sounded, so close-sounding to what Edward frequently heard from the older man. “Don’t be ridiculous, Edward. It’s me. Roy.”
The blonde frantically shook his head. “Don’t mess with me. I know my own boyfriend, idiot, and you are not him.”
“How clever of you to finally figure it out. What tipped you off, the fact that I wasn’t ravishing you as soon as I walked in?” the man who looked like Roy spoke, the familiar tone of Mustang’s deep voice fading into another equally familiar, though not exactly welcome, voice. The voice changed, but the form didn’t. Ed really didn’t know what that comment was supposed to mean; Roy had way more control over himself than the blonde, at least in most cases. Or maybe the gibe was spat out as a form of jealousy, which often held no truth whatsoever.
“You evil b***h,” Ed hissed, cursing the fact that he was naked. Otherwise he would have tackled the homunculus and pounded Envy’s face in for daring to interrupt his and Roy’s special night together. One special night that was part of a string of special nights, but each one was something treasured. “How the hell did you get in here, anyways?”
“I’ve been wondering that, too,” another voice joined the two. Roy, the real one, had returned with his glass of water. “And might I ask just what the hell you’re doing using the appearance of my body and why you were trying to seduce my boyfriend?”
The Sin shrugged. “You know, you guys really should start locking your windows. Bad things might happen if you don’t. To answer your second question, the chibi would never let anyone but you close to him in this way, so your body was the only option. As for the third question, I’ll leave you hanging.”
Roy frowned, looking over the shape Envy had morphed into. A second copy of him. Amestris couldn’t handle two Roy Mustangs; it was good that one of them wasn’t the real deal. The original was ticked that Envy had used his appearance to try to get close to his Edward. Though he had to admit…
The imposter did a pretty good job with the details, the original Flame Alchemist noticed as he looked over the fake. The same hair, the same skin, the same color eyes, almost everything perfectly exact. Exact enough to fool anyone but Ed, who knew Roy probably better than the Flame knew himself.
Except for one tiny detail. The greatest insult to any man’s pride and dignity, Roy more so because of his ‘reputation.’ He felt shot through the head, his suddenly bruised ego shattered at his feet, as his eyes narrowed in. He should know his own body, and the impersonator definitely messed up. Or maybe…it was an intentional insult to his manhood.
And for the first time, it was the older alchemist who furiously raved, “I AM NOT THAT SHORT!”
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A/N: End. Yeah, no follow-up or continuation. xD I wouldn’t want to upset any Edvy fans, so you all will just have to imagine your own ending. You can imagine Roy has his gloves on and torches the Sin for coming onto his boyfriend, or maybe Envy attacks Roy and continues with his night’s plans. Or maybe Envy manages to escape. Or whatever. I just wanted something to base Roy’s last line off of. XD
-Kara
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