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Father.


once again, father, makes me hate life.
once again, I hate my life, because of father.

once again he plays with his knife, moving it close to his face,
to this tongue, acting like he going to cut off his fingers.

once again I feel like stabbing him with that knife.

I hate my father, but I know its not his fault.
its the fault of my grandparents.

no worries, I wont stab him.
god will get him before I do, I'm sure of it.

yet all his jokes make me cry.
he never makes me smile.

the daily 'goodbye daddy' kiss feels like a party.
after kissing mom, my sis and me dad leaves.
leaves to god knows where.

ofcorse we do know where he goes off to.
to party with his friends, never taking us with him.
some times hes gone all night and comes back in the morning.
sometimes drunk, sometimes with a hang over.

I hate father.

my life is like a curse, I can't do what I want.
because of fathers debts we can't buy stuff till its all paid.

I'm not allowd to have boyfriends, I'm not allowd to go to partys or smoke.
I'm not allowd to go out at all without mom being with me.

my computer feels like my real world.
to escape from reality.
to be gone from the world, even though its for a small time..

away of it all, school, mom, my sis and father..