Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Okay. So. There's this TV show, called "Supernatural". It follows the travels of these two uber sexy brothers named Sam and Dean Winchester as they search for their father and hunt ghosts, demons, reapers, etc. etc. My friend got really into it maybe a little less than a year or so ago, and all my friends quickly followed. But I didn't. Because truth is, I hated it. No, despised it. No, I wanted to set it on freaking fire. But I didn't, strangely enough. Maybe because I'm not a fan of arson, but who knows? The point is, I hated Supernatural more than I've ever hated a TV show before (except for Naruto...but that's a different story).

Then this week, in the past three days, I've watched hours of the first season on DVD with my darling friend Carly. And low and behold...I ADORED it. What was this? What had happened? Why was I suddenly giving Supernatural not only a chance, but all my time, energy, heart and soul? Yes, soul.

I couldn't understand it. What had caused this change? When discussing this with my friend, I finally came to a simple conclusion. "Maybe I just have a thing for horror movies," I said.

She laughed.

"Or," she retorted, "maybe you just have a thing for Dean."

"What?" I spluttered. "No! That's impossible! How could I...what if I...no!" Though, of course, she'd gotten it right. I didn't like the story at all. I just like the super sexy Jensen Ackles, aka Dean Winchester.

But how could I be in love with a fictional character, not to mention one who was significantly older than me? If we met in real life he wouldn't give me a second glance, and chances were, I wouldn't give him one. I mean, he kind of is a psycho perv. But then I realized it. I realized EXACTLY what was wrong with me. I, among many other girls, was suffering from IAHIULWAFC disease. Also known as

I
Am
Hopelessly
In
Unrealistic
Love
With
A
Fictional
Character

And then it hit me. Ladies and gentleman, I'm sorry to have to be the one to break it to you, but it is a fact we can no longer ignore: we are in the midst of an epidemic.

I began contrasting my own case of IAHIULWAFC with other past epidemics. For example, remember when Lord of the Rings came out? There wasn't a teenage girl in the world who wasn't in love with Legolas. Same goes for Pirates of the Carribean and William Turner, and now our most recent virus: Edward Cullen of Twilight.

In a desperate attempt to further understand the disease which is affecting millions of teenage girls across the world, I compared the four cases of Dean Winchester, Legolas Greenleaf, William Turner, and Edward Cullen and found some surprising similarities. Here are only five of them.

1)They all have fabulous hair. C'mon. Sure, Legolas's long blonde locks are kind of gay, but they're gorgeous. Will's longish, unkempt hairdo gives him a "devil-may-care" look everyone finds impossible to resist. Edward has beautiful bronze hair, and chances are he doesn't even use Dove shampoo. And Dean....ah, Dean.

2)They all have at least one super sexy close friend. Anyone who's ever been in love with Legolas has had their brief moments when they can't help but ogle Aragorn. I mean, he's a king, he's a warrior, he's handsome, strong, and kicks Nazgul butt. Then of course, what's a Will Turner without a Jack Sparrow? Okay, so his hygiene habits aren't completely...there, but who can resist that pirate swagger? Then Edward has his brothers (and father), Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle, who, being vampires, are all amazingly sexy and devastating. *swoon* And Dean has Sam. Now then, Sam can't part his hair to save his life, but, as my lovely friend Carly put it, "he's so hot I want to lick his abs!" (bonus points for whoever can name that movie)

3)The age factor. All of these men are older than the age group that suffers from IAHIULWAFC (usually girls from 12-19). Now then, why on earth would a 12 year old be in love with a 30 year old man, unless she was suffering from some sort of disease? You see, Legolas is more than 1000 years old. The dude's freaking ANCIENT, and yet, we adore him. The same goes for Edward, who was born decades before any of his massive fanbase. I mean, under normal circumstances he'd be considered a *****. Then there's William. He's in what, his late twenty's? And yet teens love him. Then Dean. He's technically in his late twenty's as well (at least, in the first season he is...), and I can't get enough of him. What is the world coming to?

4)Their relationships with other people are irrelevant. Meaning that they could be dating a goblin, and people would still adore them. Legolas's best friend is a dwarf. Ordinarily, this would freak some people out. But somehow, it doesn't. William is MARRIED, to Elizabeth, and girls still dote on him. Edward is married and furthermore has a kid (well, if you bothered to stay after the credits, Will does too, but whatever), and girls still dream of kissing him. Dean is a player. He can (and does) have any girl he wants. And he's still loved. Weird.

5)Men don't like them. I called around to get actual guy's opinions here, so hear me out. Ask a dude who his favorite LotR character is, and he probably won't say Leggy. His favorite Pirates character? I found all but one said Jack Sparrow or Elizabeth Swan/Turner. The "one" said the Kraken. Of course, no guy actually likes Edward. It's some sort of strange jealousy conflict none of them will admit they have, but in truth, not very many males can stand the guy. Of the people I asked no guy had actually even heard of Supernatural, so these statistics might be a little off, but no one said Dean as their favorite character, so I guess there might be something in that. The only guy who said he DID know what Supernatural was said his favorite character in the series was Satan. Hm. Does that say more about the guy or the series?

Now then. I could go on and on about how they all have beautiful eyes, troubled pasts, and are of professions/races that usually aren't accepted in traditional society (I mean, they're an elf, a pirate, a vampire, and a hunter). But I will spare you. I believe I have enough evidence already to rest my case, and that I have now proved the female tweens and teens of the world are in serious danger of being struck by IAHIULWAFC, if they have not been already.

But I have done all I can do. Now it is your turn, fellow Gaians, to put out this epidemic. Please, ask yourselves,

What is the cure?