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So.....It's been a while. My heart still aches from the brutal break-up. I think that I was definitely stupid because of how hard I fell so quickly. Everything that involves...Henry....in any way, shape, or form hurts me. I've never hurt this much. I want it to stop, but it won't. I bottle everything up and no one really knows what's going on inside me. There are days when all I want to do is cry and I'm completely quiet (worrying everyone around me). And there are days when I think I can be ok. Life is so hard down here. I wish I had never moved. I regret everything. And I find that everyday I look back at the past and feel a great nastalgia tuggin at my heart. "You know you're old, no matter what age you are, when regret for the past replaces dreams of the future" That must mean I'm extremely old. I remember when all I thought about was the future. Now all I think about is the past. There are so many things I wish I could change right now though...not just things about the past. I wish I were a different person. I wish I was stronger. I wish my friends didn't have to worry about me so often. I wish I didn't have such a low self-esteem. I wish I could go home (the 'rents are saying we may not be moving back). I wish for some many things that will never happen.
And this is the life I'm leading