So, if any of you have noticed, though I don't know how many people keep up with my profile so I wouldn't really know, I updated my profile's "about me" section today. It has to do with the diet I'm doing as well as excersize, but also, it had to do with how much of a good mood I was in. I was really happy this morning for no good reason really, so it was really nice.
Sadly, it seems I have crashed from my metaphorical sugar high. I'm not really sad or anything. I just feel very blank right now. Nothing really bad has happened. I've had a really good day. But at the same time, I've kind of opened my eyes to some of the things I should really be worrying about in my life. So it's like...a total buzz kill or something.
I was watching Demyx Time on youtube (for those of you who haven't watched it, do so. It's hilarious) and I started to talk to some of my gaia friends about how awesome it would be to do little cosplay specials on youtube. Mine would probably be pointless and sillly, but it would still be really fun. But thinking about this kinda made me realize that there aren't really that many people who I could come to with this idea. Durring my first semester at collage, I can honestly say that I had a pretty good social life. I went to parties and hung out with friends. I had more to do than just sitting around my house for the first time in a long time. But now, I've sort of distanced myself from a lot of those friends for personal reasons.
I don't regret not seeing these friends anymore. I want to be clear about that. But sense I've stopped hanging around them, I've basically thrown myself back to where I used to be. I wake up, go to school, come home, and chill in my bed room. I'm not complaining that "my life suxorz" or anything. But there's definately more to life than a computer screen. And lately, that's really all I've been doing. Staring at my laptop monitor with little to nothing else to do.
I miss having friends. And I miss having a social life. Not only am I really bored and envious of other people, but I start to feel pathetic about myself when I just sit here. I could be laughing my a** off at the latest youtube video. But let's face it. Youtube is not my friend. It's a website that I use to take up time.
Being the "most popular girl at school" is really not my concern. I'm a dork and a nerd and a geek and I'm alright with that. There are a lot of other people out there who I can get along with and who would be really fun to chill with. But I just haven't met any of them yet. I would really like to meet some other anime/video game nerds like myself. But like...not the kind of nerd who likes to call themselves "otaku" who's whole life is basically built around how awesome anime is. Having a life outside internet/anime/wtfever culture is important to me too.
Life isn't bad for me. It's just really slow. And I'm starting to feel really slugish about it, myself.
God. I am so emoing up my journal. Oh well.
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