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well, I've been okay, better than before.
Kuromi's not mad at me,<3
I've been reading my psychic book and celtic magic book and been learning Japanese on my DS :3
I definitely needed a break from school, I'm doing so bad this marking period! DDD:
I think I have an F in history..>>;;;
oh god I'm gunna die!! DDDx
I haven't been drawing that much, but I drew once or twice and because theres no stress from school, it came out pretty good! ^^ tsukasa and elk~<3 ah I'm such a dot hack freak! xD
somethin strange happened this mornin too,
I'm starting to realize things more and more, not just stuff about a certain thing, just about different stuff I guess..Dx I dunno how to explain it sweatdrop
those books are helping me to realize a lot a stuff.
anyway, about the strange thing,
while I was drawing elk and tsukasa last night, I had the urge afterwards to draw the person I love, I still don't know for sure if he even exists yet, but I know what he looks like, even if thats just his soul's appearance.
as I drew a small pic of him on the next page, I felt like he was next to me. it was strange,but nice. ^^ normally when I draw pics of him, my hand just sorta goes off on its own and draws him. He was smiling and I had a great warm feeling from it.
my hand drew hearts all around it by itself ^^
I was kinda surprised, but it was cool.
and now for what happened this morning,
I went over to my sketchbook that I drew it in
that is on the new desk I got for xmas in my room ^^
I opened it to the pic and put my hand on it,but as I did that, I sudden image popped in my head, one I know I didn't create,
a graveyard, then it went into one of those little crypt buildings really fast as if I just flew in there or something then went down somehow to a bunch of coffins in a small stone room, one opened and an old corpse came out that looked like him I caught it as it fell, but then dropped it cuz well, eww a dead body xP
(I didn't feel scared or grossed out about the grave yard or the corpse or anything though which was strange. I think this vision wasn't for the purpose of that.)
after that he appeared and hugged me.(not the corpse, him alive xD )
and this time I know it was a vision cuz it was elaborate and fast and I didn't have to pretend to be him like when I'm daydreaming ^^;
like I said, I'm realizing and learning things
and one of those things that I believed in but now I'm starting to understand to be true is that everything exists in some way, whether you can see it or not, everything ever imagined or ever made, whether only in your mind, another world, or in human reality exists somewhere.
I think that vision was a message from him.
later today I figured out the meaning of the vision, and I know its the true meaning because it just came to me, the meaning of it was: that he feels dead without me <3
aw damn I can't wait till I find him! >w<
today I've been yearning more for him than for just a regular boyfriend,and it felt alright to do that, I'm starting to believe more now, that maybe, he is really out there for me. ^^
I think he was trying to tell me that hes out there for me, somewhere.
we just have to find each other.
I guess I got that vision because I've been practicing with my psychic abilities. it opened up a door way for that message to get through I suppose, but the question is, how did he know I would get it?
that makes me worry that hes not in this physical reality or that hes dead or something...which would actually be the same thing because you can never really die ^^;
anyway, well I hope hes here and shall keep trying my best to find him! : D whether hes in the physical world, or the otherworld!
-determined- >: o
xD
 Elemental guardian Zaria · Mon Dec 29, 2008 @ 10:13pm · 0 Comments |
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