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I swear, today is the worst day of my life ever. I feel so horrible I don't even want to talk to anyone. I hate this feeling because when I'm like this, I hurt others as well as myself, and then that just makes me hate myself even more. I'm not even in the mood to type much. But I'll just post two poems that I made long ago.

Feel the Pain

I can't only feel the pain when I'm hurt,
But when I'm sad.
I can't only feel the pain when someone I love is hurt,
But when they are dying.
I can't only feel the pain when someone I love is dying,
But when they are gone.
I can feel the pain inside
When I know the person has tried so hard to get through it,
But they never did.


Not Real

In my world of light and grace
I worship every day.
No breath I draw, no friend I make
Will I ever throw away.
In my mind you're beautiful
And my love is what you feel.
We're locked away behind closed doors
Because beyond them you're not real.
I touch your face and smile.
You hold me close to you
But outside my mind you don't exist
No matter what I do.
Your hair is soft and golden.
Your voice is warm and clear.
Your embrace is firm and gentle, but
Once I open my eyes you're not here.
How I've wanted to share my pain with
Someone I thought I'd never find.
Here you are and here you'll stay
As the creation of my mind.
Your smile, your love, your presence
Will never disappear.
You stand by my side protecting my
And banishing my fear.
I can't love in real life
With out dying first.
Away from that world I'm free of pain.
I am blessed instead of cursed.
My darling, born whithin my mind
Who I can touch and feel,
Please never leave my side again
Because you are not real.