CHAPTER 2 PART 1:
For the next couple of weeks I almost completely avoided Jon because it hurt to see him. I don’t remember why I started talking to him again, maybe I was just lonely and he offered the companionship I so desperately craved. More then likely it was because he filled a void in my life that my boyfriend was supposed to, but couldn't do to distance and time. Perhaps I just missed him.
I just gave in and let my anger go. It didn’t matter anymore. It was around this time that Jarred and I started fighting (again) about my friendship with Jon. Jarred is my boyfriend of 3 years and a man I thought I loved. He wasn’t crazy about my friendship with Jon and he didn’t understand how I could stay friends with a guy who treated me the way he had. To me, it didn’t matter, it wasn’t important anymore so I let it go, though I could have reminded him that he treated me much worse then that. But I refrained. Barely. Jarred couldn’t let it go though, it ate at him.
Movie nights were a staple. More importantly, movie nights in my room or Jon's room were a staple. Not just for me but for everyone. So, one night, me, Jon, Joyce and Beth where upstairs in his room watching American History X, when I came downstairs to call Jarred. Well, me and Jarred ended up in another huge fight over Jon. I got really upset and went outside so I could get a hold of myself afterwards. When I came back in, me and Jarred talked again, but I stayed really upset because nothing had been concluded. We were both frustrated and angry, so we chose to call it a night. Jon, and the girls, were down in the front foyer trying to give me some privacy so when I came down the hall I headed straight for him.
He could tell instantly that I was upset and needed to talk, so he reminded me I left my keys in his room and asked me if I wanted to go get them. I knew what he was doing so I agreed. We walked up the stairs and mid way up he stopped.
“Are you okay?” The concern in his eyes was unsettling and I shuffled backwards a few steps even as I felt my eyes start to water. I gazed up at him, the hurt and confusion evident in my gaze and on my face and he pulled me close against him. My cheek rested against the rough material of his shirt as he stroked my back. “Wanna talk about it?” he asked softly so his voice didn’t carry down the staircase and into the foyer. I nod my head, the feel of his shirt fabric oddly comforting as was the smell of him. It was familiar. And him.
It made me feel safe and secure in a really odd way since I knew him and he wasn’t really the type of person who dealt with emotional turmoil very well. Usually he would tell people to just deal with, which made me wonder why he was being so sweet and gentle with me knowing it was just a stupid fight with my partner. I shrugged when I didn’t think he was looking, and said “Can we do this somewhere a little more private?” My words were muffled against his shirt and I didn’t look up at him until I felt him move away from me, his arms falling away from where they were resting around my back.
“Yeah. Lets go to my room so we can talk.” Again, he spoke softly and I felt myself smile slightly as I heard him walk up the steps in front of me. I followed him, tripping on the stairs before dragging my feet along the hallway to his room. He opened his door, holding it for me and letting me go in front before closing it securely behind the two of us. With a casual flick of his wrist, the lamp illuminates the room and casts a golden glow over us. I look down at my feet as he walks past me to sit in the computer chair at his desk, one leg hooked over his other leg as he gets comfortable. I take a deep breath and pace nervously around the room. Suddenly I’m not sure why I’m here but the tears drying on my cheeks remind me.
“Sooooo…you wanna talk or not, Skye?” His warm voice slithers over my skin and I jerk my head sharply in his direction. A flush creeps up my neck and cheeks and I giggle in embarrassment.
“Yes, please.” I hang my head for just a brief moment as I start to speak, still pacing back and forth across the rather confined space of a dorm room. “Why do boys have to be so freaking stupid? I mean, seriously. They get a notion in their small little brains, and it’s like nothing can convince them otherwise. All I did was, while on the phone to his majesty, the a*****e, was ask another guy if he liked my hair. And the only reason I asked Garrett was because I think he’s gay, and therefore, will give me an honest opinion. So Jarred is all like ‘why are you asking another guy’s opinion’ and I’m all like “because I think he’s gay, and oh yeah, you’re not here to ask. Then he got all pissed off and started a tirade on how all of my guy friends, only here at college, are skivy and trying to get into my pants which made me laugh and that only pissed him off more.”
Jon was taking in everything I said while I ranted because it had just been built up inside of me for so long that I couldn’t help it. It didn’t take long for me to break down into tears though. “Then he mentioned a certain friend. And, well, we’ve been fighting about this one a lot lately and I don’t understand what he has against him. He’s one of the few people I can really talk to and I feel close to him. There’s nothing wrong with that right? Anyways, he told me to stay away from him and I said “no,” not unless you can give me a good reason. Which obviously he couldn’t. So he gave me the usual BS line about him being able to tell. I’m not buying it anymore. It’s getting old and I’m sick of not being able to have any male friends. It’s so freaking frustrating trying to talk to him.” Tears start to slip down my cheeks again and he stands up, arms hanging loosely at his side.
“Sorry Skye, I just don’t see why that would leave you in tears.” I mutter to myself ‘typical boy.’ and glare at him.
“He said that maybe we should take a break and now he’s really gung-ho on this idea and all because of this one fricken issue that I refuse to back down from. If he could just give me a good reason and not make me rely on his rather faulty intuition I would gladly back off. But he can’t and I’m afraid that my stubbornness and his stupid feelings are going to cause us to break up.” He wraps his arms around me and just holds me, letting me cry against his chest as he ponders what I’ve said to him. His fingers make small circles on my back and without meaning to, the sadness that I’m feeling starts to change into something else. I murmur against his shirt “Would you just hold me for a minute?” and snuggle closer against his frame, my own arms winding around his waist to steady me as my knees go weak.
“Of course I’ll hold you.” The words sound like a whispered pledge and I let everything go for the minute but good things never last in college. It’s just the way of the world. People always interrupt at the most inopportune moments. A knock at the door had us moving guiltily apart even though the embrace had been friendly. Yup, lets go with that. It was my own crappy luck that it HAD to be his girlfriend and Beth, who just looked at me knowingly. I made a noncommittal shrug at her even as Joyce moved to sit in the chair that Jon had vacated moments before. Her scratchy, irritating voice grated on my ears but then again that might also have been my bitterness causing me to have selective hearing where she was concerned.
I wanted to punch her in her dog like face. Hard enough to break her nose or at least leave a black eye behind. Who am I kidding? I normally have a quick temper that leads me to want to hit people, but I rarely hit them hard enough to hurt. I wanted to hurt her. Bad. She just pissed me off for no reason other then the fact that she existed. And to think we had been good friends before Jon came along. I guess that just proves that its really easy for boy’s to break up friendships, though girls will continue to deny this. It’s bad for the public image or some crap like that.
