PROLOGUE TO ANOTHER STORY
The first time I saw him, I knew it could be love. He was just standing there looking smug and insolent and oh so beautiful. His eye caught mine and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. His eyes were the most brilliant blue I had ever seen. Fringed by long dark lashes, it was like staring into his soul. I saw the same desire, the same flame, the same heat mirrored in his eyes. It was then that I knew he was burning the same way I was. The only problem was I didn’t know his name. He was a stranger, a rebel, a god standing in front of me. I had no choice but to worship him. Liquid honey dripped from his tongue every time he spoke. It ignited something in me, a passion that I didn’t know existed until that moment. We talked, I don’t remember about what, all I remember is this god who held such a strange power over me. I would have done anything just to hear his voice . I had never heard anything so sexy in my entire existence, which was fast becoming my existence around him. He moved and the earth trembled under his feet. Everything seemed to stop as he walked towards me; time froze. I think for a moment I did to, and then he touched me. Warmth spread throughout my body like liquid fire, concentrating where his flesh touched mine. “Good Night” he whispered in my ear. I shivered with delight. It was going to be a good night, with him by my side, but he continued to walk right by me, up the stairs and to his room. I was devastated, crushed, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t even know him.
CHAPTER 1
Two months have passed since that day and I know that god so much better now but I’ve never gotten over that feeling of awe. His eyes still make me go weak in the knees and when he talks, oh god when he talks, nothing else seems to exist. So yeah, I have a little bit of a crush on him. Well, little as in I can’t sleep at night because thoughts of him occupy my every waking moment. The funny part is, he knows what he does to me, the worst part, I’m already in a relationship with someone I love. I’m in the worst kind of situation for a girl to be in because I’m very attracted to Jon. What am I supposed to do? Who knows. So we flirt harmlessly and we talk dirty, but so far nothings come of it so I’m not overly worried. It’s Thursday night, about 10:49 and I don’t want to night host, even though I’m night hosting with my friend Carrie.
It’s been along day and all I want to do is go to sleep. Oh well, it’s only until 4 am tonight, I’ll be able to get through it. Somehow. I walk down the hall towards the entrance of the dorms and wave to Jenn, who was the RA on duty. She waves back and I talk to her for a few minutes before getting ready to begin the night. I grab the sign in book, the TV and the DVD player with a resigned sigh before moving the couch so it was sitting across the hallway. The desk sat in a horizontal slash in front of that. I grumbled, having to do everything myself and waited for Carrie to arrive so we could figure out what to watch. It was beginning just like any other typical night on the job. Dull and boring. I yawned and stretched, settling into the worn cushions and propped my feet on the desk in front of me. I barely stirred as I felt the cushions sink in next to me and I muttered some form of greeting to the curly haired girl.
The two of us got comfortable, or as comfortable as one could be on the stagnant old couch, and started watching Fight Club. I've seen the movie a few times, so early one I began to zone out, only reigning myself in on occasion to catch glimpses of Ed Norton. I wasn't paying much attention though which is why it took me half the movie to realize my room mate, Beth, had joined us. The night was almost over when Jon showed up. He stayed down at the desk instead of immediately heading upstairs and talked to the three of us, which was unusual.. We didn’t really talk about any thing in particular. It was random snippets of conversation, letting it take us where it would, but the sun was starting to rise by the time Carrie excused herself. She still had to trek across campus and Beth chose then to decide to head to bed as well. Neither Jon nor I were tired, so we expressed our good night's, exchanged hugs, and let be on their way. It left him and I alone for the first time though and for a minute we just looked at each other with a sense of discomfort before breaking into peals of laughter.
It was a bit weird that he stayed behind, but we got talking about something and, at the same time, we started heading down the hall in animated chatter. Now, let me say that I am a very sexual person, it comes naturally to me, as natural as breathing. For the last couple of months I had been looking for a person like me. I had given up hope of finding that person, until the day that I met a very single Jon. I knew my life was never going to be the same after that, for good or bad. But, back to the story. We walked until we came to the doorway that separated the west side of the building from the foyer. I stopped to say goodnight but the look in his eyes kept me from leaving. His eyes looked like trouble, but I guess I wanted to get into some trouble tonight. I was looking for a little excitement and he was more then willing to give it to me. For a price.
His eyes were gorgeous and they called to me, the same way the honey in his voice was making me feel drunk. I couldn't breathe but it was okay because every sweet breathe was a breathe of him. It made me high and I knew that I never wanted to come down if it meant being away from him. I had never felt that way about another person other than my boyfriend, but that had taken time and patience, it wasn’t this instantaneous attraction and passion. It was as simple as I needed him. Somehow he had become a part of me and he was like a disease, eating away at me until I succumbed to the sweet desire that it invoked.
His mouth promised heaven, his touch promised the sweetest sin. Hell had never looked so inviting. We talked about my little turn ons , the little quirks that made my body flush the deepest red, and the raw desire I was feeling for him. He dragged a finger down my neck and I jumped, his touch electric, and my body responded shamelessly. An ache spread from my neck, down my spine, until it pooled femininely. I could still feel his touch even after the heat had left my skin. The warmth of his skin, the callused feel of his hands, should have felt like heaven, but I was craving hell.
I told him he was dangerous and that I should move away, but I didn’t, I moved closer to the fire that was fueling me. We talked more, about him and the girls he’d been with, and that was just adding kindling to the fire that he had already built within me. He told me a story, my body blushed, my desire exploded. He reached for my face and tilted it up to his. I separated my lips, expecting a searing, soul baring kiss, but he licked my neck instead. I was confused and aroused and angry. He walked away, leaving me like that. I wanted to call after him, to beg him to stop and come back, but my pride refused and I let him walk away. I went to bed really frustrated that night and I woke up a little bitchy.
Things became Hellish after that, as drama festers like an open sore in my existence. Him and I continued to hang out, sometimes alone, sometimes with other people. Then he began spending time with my friend Joyce, out of pity since she had gotten out of a serious relationship a few months prior. She knew Jon from her freshman year when they were in theater together and he'd thought her a b***h, but then they began to hang out. One night after a bunch of us where down at the night host table, they hooked up. She fell for him. I had a crush on him too. She should have had priority because I had a boyfriend, but well, I liked him first. It’s a first come first serve kinda thing. Rule of the Jungle. This is girl world after all, and girls aren’t know for playing nice.
This made things awkward between her and I because I suspected that something happened and she kept saying that there was nothing going on. Im not stupid and I sure as hell wasn't born yesterday so it was no surprise when she finally admitted that my suspicions were correct. Duh. So, we 'talked' about it like two 'mature' adults and I agreed that I would back off. If she believed me, then it wasn't just her taste in men that was bad, her judgment was a little sketchy too. My words were only partly true.
I wouldn’t actively pursue him but at the same time I wasn’t just going to push my feelings to the side. It was decided that I should talk to him. Boys and girls aren't meant to talk though. Not like that, so the likely result was inevitable, and it turned into a fiasco that I wasn't soon to forget. Or forgive.
I was down at the night host table with my friend Carrie when he came in. I looked up and he looked at me, silent words being exchanged in a single glance. I walked over to him and moved closer, my hand resting against his arm. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure.” There was an uncomfortable pause. I turned and started to walk away, he followed me at a distance. My roommate was in the room so we ended up sitting on the stairs instead where we could get a little bit of privacy. I didn’t know where to start so he did.
“So what’s up?” I didn’t say anything. At that moment I was incredibly nervous and didn’t know what to say. I felt stupid, clumsy, and a little bit foolish. Not things Im accustomed to feeling. I was out of my depth.
“Umm, well, I like you Jon. I like you a lot.” I smiled, a shy, little girl kind of smile and looked up at him from underneath dark lashes. He looked stunned, then shocked, then really unsure. He started to speak, stopped, then started again.
“Yeah I figured you did.” That sentence alone did not bode well for me. I didn’t know what to say so he continued to talk. “Maybe if things were different we could be together, but they aren’t." It was about here that I mentally began to prepare myself. "You have a boyfriend and I’m not going to be the reason that something happens between the two of you. I’ve screwed up enough relationships without wanting to destroy yours. I won’t do it. I’m sorry.” Well. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Thank god. Still, it stung a bit.
“I know. After that night though I thought you were attracted to me. If something happened between me and my boyfriend it wouldn’t be because of you, it would be my choice.” There was almost a pleading sound in my voice and I hated it. I didn't understand why I was pursuing this, I just knew that I would hate myself if I didn't. I couldn't have anticipated what came next.
He looked at me, seriously looked at me and I felt chills creep along my skin. “That night, my attraction, was an act..”
I thought I was going to die. Instead I looked at him with tears in my green eyes and walked back into my room. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and walked soundlessly outside. I left my keys in the room but I didn’t care, I just needed to get away. The fresh air froze the tears on my cheeks and I sobbed quietly into the dark. I lit up a cigarette and took a long draw, the smoke soothing my frazzled nerves. I let it linger out of my mouth, savoring the sweet taste of calming nicotine. The smoke rose slowly in the moonlight air, dancing with the stars. I felt the hot tears slid down my cheeks.
I don’t know how long I sat there, I don’t know if I really cared. Eventually I stood, I didn’t know whether it had been minutes or hours since I had sat down. I felt drained, my body an empty husk of emotions. I walked around to the front entrance of the dorms and went inside. Nana, the night host, asked me if I was alright, I think I mumbled something and kept walking.
Jon, Joyce, and my roommate where all in the room when I got back. I didn’t look at any of them. I just grabbed my bathrobe, my towels, and my little bath carrier and went to take a shower. The action screamed “******** OFF” to anyone who knew me even in the slightest. I was obviously not happy, my body language said that, but my face was perfectly expressionless. I had already slipped the blank mask onto my face, and over the upcoming weeks I would perfect it because I had to.
