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Mentally, at least.

I'm sure there are people worse than me, but I have too many bad habits.

1. I cry way too easily.
2. Once I start crying, I can't stop.
3. I carry grudges and open unhealed wounds.
4. I bottle everything up until I'm alone and can let it out.

This evening was just kind of not that great. This afternoon was pretty nice; I saw Wall-E with Hope, Tegan, Alyssa, and Melvin. But then James didn't get up when he promised he would, so I texted him twice and when he woke up he called me and I was happy. Then he asked if he could take another nap and call me later. I was hesitant because I really wanted to talk to him a lot since we can't talk for a few days because we're both working so much this weekend, but being me, I said sure. So an hour and a half later, I decide that I'll wake him up and that I'll talk to him a while and then sleep in the morning until I have to get up for work at 9. Well, unfortunately James's friends came over early so he's sorting Magic cards with them now.

sad

Whenever his friends are over he always talks to them. I need to start doing this with my own friends. Breanna came over and I feel bad because we spent over an hour trying to get James to go to bed (while it was 4 am there; partly why I'm so frustrated--none of this would have happened if he had just gone to bed earlier) instead of hanging out. And once he went to bed, I had to go to the movies and had to say bye to her.

I'm just having a very emotional day--as usual. It's nothing out of the ordinary.

I'm not angry at him. I'm just very frustrated and exasperated with all of this. I was feeling so giddy yesterday and now I'm just...I don't know. Not feeling all that great. He asked if he should cancel the tickets and I told him hell no. I'm frustrated with him, but that doesn't mean I don't love him.

Blegh.

So we have to e-mail each other over the next few days, except he's not very good at e-mailing because he's not good at writing letters and e-mails are basically electronic letters. So...maybe I'll ask him to call me and leave me a nice voicemail message to listen to.