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I am not in the habit of writing a whiny crappy self-serving live journal. So instead, I'm going to write a shiny happy self-referencing live journal. With cookies!

These are things that rock:

*Topless news. If you have access to 3Mobile, check this out under Hot Candy. It's two American women reading British news in enthusiastic voices, topless. It's brilliant, current affairs and nudity in one package. They were going to do a version for terrestrial television, but apparently Sir Trevor MacDonald refused to take his shirt off.

Actually, another great combination of nudity and current affairs is that superb 'news'paper, the Sunday Sport, which in amongst its many boobies du jour also featured a brief story about a nerd who, in trying to disguise his porn habit from his girlfriend, inadvertantly deleted the Internet. No, really. Fortunately, they had a back up disk.

*Jalepinos. On Pizza. If you're not sweating, it's not a good meal. Unless you're Tony Blair, who is famous for his sweaty armpits, mainly beacuse its a lot colder on his homeworld. Bush doesn't suffer from that problem because Earth has roughly the same ambient temperature of his homeworld of Moronium.

*Being alive during the golden age of gaming. My otherwise pissy years of adolesence (sp) were handily diluted somewhat by the fact that I was around for the original Gameboy, the Megadrive, the SNES, the N64, and the Playstation before it got saturated with sequels. Back in those days, there were actually good original games (as well as the usual Fifa updates each year). As opposed to the current trend of cut-and-paste military games such as Medal of Honour, Call of Duty, Band of Brothers, Top of The Morning, King of New York and George of The Jungle.

*Broad shoulders. Combined with my love of T-Shirts, this is possibly my greatest lady-acquiring tool. Hell, most ladies don't even look at my face! It's almost as if they were avoiding it!

*Your Momma. Heh heh heh.

* 'Hey Ya!' by Outkast. And while I'm on the topic of music, the new Garbage album is out soon. Gaaaaarrrbaggge...

*The Nintendo DS. It's, like, some sort of plague that causes everyone who plays it for more than three seconds at a time to have to buy one. While my eagle eye makes sure that they don't lose the stylus. After all, styluses don't grow on trees, except for the Stylus tree which is kept at Nintendo headquarters in Kyoto. That's the tree that they smoke the leaves of whenever they have to design a new Wario Ware game.

*Online comics. And the fact that Greg Dean's Real Life finally has its archives back up.

*Monopoly. Or any other boardgame where you get to play as a Terrier.

victoryusagi is a bored writer living in West Sussex. Remarkably more things suck than rock at present.