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I love talking to Katie very night, it's the onlt thing to pick me up...she always gives me a sense of comfort, because right now I'm scared and confused, because of my whole situation, and I think right now, she's feeling the same thing I am. I feel sad, but it makes me feel a little bit better knwing that she's experiencing it with me. It's so strange, I can't explain it, but I think, somehow, whenever she's sad, I'm sad, and whenever she's happy, I'm happy. I love it when she's happy, she's so beautiful when she smiles. Not just on the outside either, she's one of the few people who are beautiful inside and out. I love her so much...and I'm stuck in a relationship with Cassie...but I have to keep the charade, so that she can be happy...my happiness doesn't matter anymore, I don't deserve it, I had happiness when I was with Katie, but I gave it up, and the only small doses I have of happiness I get when I talk to Katie after class, or after school, maybe that's why I always wait for her...

But also talking to her reminds me that she's going out with Chris, and that I'll never get her back, and that other people deserve her happiness nmore than I do. Other people deserve to see the joy in her smile more than I do, but if I ever get the chance, If I ever get her back, I won't make the same mistake twice.

I'm just not happy with Cassie...she's so shallow, she thinks that appearance is everything...and she belives in labels...she's just another typical person, nothing special. But I've changed my priorities, I've decided that I'm going to make her happy, just like Katie made me happy. So I'm going to neglect my happiness for now, besides, even if I wasn't with Cassie, I would'nt be able to be happy anyway I still wouldn't be with Katie...plus, I went out with Cassie because I thought maybe if things got serious, it would help me to forget about Katie, but I just can't get serious with Cassie, she's just not special. But through it all, I realized that I don't want to forget Katie, I always want to hold her in my heart...