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I didn't think too much on this issue a few years ago. It wasn't until recently that I actually started dealing with the whole prejudice issue. Just about every friend I have is younger than me, and some considerably so. I've always treated these people as equals no matter how old or young they were. It doesn't matter to me. A person is a person and their ideas and emotions are valid no matter how I might personally think about them.

Unfortunately, the idea doesn't swing both ways, as I've found out in the past couple of years. I never really felt old until recently and I think the way my friends treat me is a big part of it. It turns out that, while I was thinking of them as equals, they didn't think the same. In their minds (and I'm using a generalization here since not every person is the same) I'm an older, more mature guy who's simply "cool enough" to understand what younger people are going through. I wasn't an equal, I wasn't someone who they were always comfortable hanging out with, I wasn't someone who they related to. I was, essentially, an old man, some wise dude who hung around and deigned to share said wisdom with they, the younger generation.

I'm not saying that any of them looked down on me or anything like that. On the contrary, my friends all think highly of me. But it's hurtful, nonetheless, because it puts up a barrier between us all. In some ways, it's even objectifying. By thinking of me as this sort of asexual older being, they've essentially lessened my importance and I don't think they even realize it. One woman friend even told me that I was something of a father figure to her and she couldn't understand why that would upset me. Keep in mind that she's 23 and I'm 30, not such a huge age gap.

I love my friends and I still think of them as equals, be they 35 or 16. It doesn't matter to me because I make it a point to see them as people, individuals, with their own divine spark. That sort of... courtesy, respect, that I have for them is what makes it just that much more painful when those same friends tell me that they don't think the same way about me as a person. I've been categorized because of my age and experience in life. I'm not a handsome guy, I'm not a talented artist, I'm not an intelligent being... I'm an old dude. And, unfortunately, there's nothing that I can do to change their opinions or impression of me.

I never really felt old until I realized that certain younger people belittled my feelings. Much the way parents are able to take the emotions of children less seriously because of their age and the lack of importance they place upon the things that mean the most to kids, many of my younger friends dismiss my feelings, my insecurities because of my age. It's a painful thing to tell someone to stop talking about you a certain way because it makes you feel like you're an ancient grandpa, then have them laugh it off carelessly.

I'm not some wise guru who sits on top of a mountain blissfully unaffected by "lesser" things. I'm not an asexual being who's past his prime. I'm not completely secure and successful simply because I've lived for three decades. I'm not someone who "can't relate" just because I graduated high school twelve years ago. I'm a person. I have feelings, insecurities, short comings, strengths, weaknesses, and things I have yet to experience, just like everyone else. Why, then, should I be treated as less than such just because I have a job and a car and some white hairs?

But there's not a damned thing that I can do to keep people from thinking about me that way. That's the nature of prejudice.

For me, sexual attraction is something that I feel after knowing someone for a little while. It's largely intellectual more than physical. Sure, there's always a stirring when I see a pretty girl or beautiful woman, but I know all too well that beauty doesn't mean substance. There's nothing less attractive to me than attitude, arrogance, and I've been repulsed by "beautiful" women before when they displayed it.

Age doesn't matter nearly as much to me as personality, intelligence, humor does. I've been attracted to forty year olds and I've been attracted to seventeen year olds. I have an open mind and an open heart. If I meet a 19 year old and fall madly in love with her, I'm not about to throw away that opportunity for happiness simply because I'm eleven years older than her. I'm not going to lie. I'm more physically attracted to younger women than older. It's natural, don't you think? Both hormonally and intellectually, women who appear younger, more vibrant, more full of life will instinctually attract a man. That doesn't mean I'd turn away a woman who was a little older than myself, though.

As I said before, I see people as people. When I date someone, I'm dating that person, not their age. The only thing that would hold me back is maturity and prejudice. I'd hesitate to date an eighteen year old simply because most eighteen year old girls don't have their heads on straight yet. Most, I say. They don't know what they want, they're emotionally still developing. That can make a relationship tough since it puts me in the position of more of a controller, trying to hold on to things while she changes. Likewise, though, I'd have trouble dating someone who was far more experienced than myself simply because she might been too rigid and stuck in her ways. Older women are often very bitter and jaded, unwilling to trust, which is also a problem.

Bah, I'm rambling. Anyway, like I said, I don't really have prejudices against anyone..... except stupid people. I wouldn't let age stand in the way of true love if it presented itself to me. Love is a gift... you should never question the source of it. Just accept it.