I am torn between two loves. The love of a best friend since I was 14 and the love of someone I swore would always have my heart. And they have for the past year. But they took it when they left. I fight and I fight and I fight for that person. Unclear responses. I don't know what to do. But the other, he's always there. Except he's not. He's miles away. It hurt's to live with that. In a way both seem impossible to have. Sometimes I think God hates me. He keeps taking away the things that I love the most and if he doesn't take them, he'll never let me have them. First my dad, slowly making me watch and him suffer in pain. Then my relationship with my mother, if I can even call her that anymore. And then him... he walked out the door on the 25th of march. Took my happiness with him but I guess some of that is my fault. And then there's the other, but I cannot have him. God keeps him at a distance just to watch me cry. He keeps him there because he knows I am unhappy. He watches me as I tear into strands of myself. Strands that are left here and there. All the places that I've been hurt. Maybe one day someone will follow me, pick up all the strands of me and at the end of the line where that last strand lays he will put me back together. Who that is, I can't say.
 Holy Cuppiecake · Mon Apr 07, 2014 @ 09:50pm · 0 Comments |
