Ways to Confuse Pizza Guy(or any other deleivery foodz)
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
4. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
5. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
6. Answer their questions with questions.
7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
8. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets" CD.
9. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
10. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
11. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
12. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
13. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
14. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
15. Change your accent every three seconds.
16. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
17. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
18. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
19. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
20. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
21. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
22. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
23. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
24. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
25. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
26. Imitate the order taker's voice.
27. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
28. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
29. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
30. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
31. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
32. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
33. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
34. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
35. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
36. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
37. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
38. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
39. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
40. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
41. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
42. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
43. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
44. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
45. Put them on hold.
46. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
47. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
48. When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
49. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
50. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
Shadowette Community Member 
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