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This Christmas may very well be the 1st christmas that I can buy everyone their gifts, and the ones I've made too!
I'm so excited, I've always just have enough to buy candy and make some trinket, but not get something that someone needed, not wants but needs. Now I can do that... Yay.
Though a lot of stuff is trying to creep up and ruin my good mood. I'm just trying to stay one step ahead of the bills, food, art supplies and such to make this all work out right. *Sigh*
 Goddess-o-WAR · Mon Nov 10, 2008 @ 05:03pm · 0 Comments |
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Because of all the stress from my work and school, that last shock with Jack pushed my stress limit over the edge. I had a full blown anxiety attack and lost my appetite for any food for 3 days. It was scary, to not eat, thats just not me. Let alone all the weight I lost in those 3 days.... Lets just say I had nothing to lose in the first place so there was nothing but bone left. It may even take me another week to gain my weight that I lost back, even though I'm eating like a hog again. ******** metabolism.
I fought hard on my part to keep me from finding a corner away from people and staying there, with no food. My problem was more the food part then the social part. I HAD to be at work and school. My fear was losing weight. I look very skinny, but I in no way have a eating problem, my thyroid is hyper so my metabolism is just annoyingly fast.
But on the 3rd day I forced myself to eat crackers as a start to move on to more filling foods, I'm happy I won.
Goddess-o-WAR · Thu Nov 06, 2008 @ 11:07pm · 0 Comments |
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Tired and Lost Inside Myself. |
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The best way to relive some stress, talk about it. If you want to read this, by all means go for it. I warn you though, it may be a little messed up.
I guess I'll start when all my stress literally made me die. On Oct, 26 2008
A little bit of background to go with this story.......
I was going out with a 19/20 year old guy that we will name Jack. I meet Jack on my 18th birthday, he was a friend of my Roommate for college. We hit it off rather nice the first week, then at 2AM on Sept. 22 2007, we decided to got out. That was also the night/ morning he took my 'Purity'. He was over the house a lot and we hung out everyday, not once yelling or getting tired of each other, which is amazing for me.
About a month before our 1 year anniversary he lost his job, and stayed down by his place (an hour away) a little more to find a new one. He had told me about his ex whom was at a rehab center at that time. And said she got a day pass soon and that he wanted to go see her. So of course I told him go for it, it's his friend so have fun. Well our 1 year anniversary came around and he visited me and spent the day and night with me too.
All seemed to be alright, but I did have a feeling that something was up. well I got m answer on Oct. 26th. He was calling a lot but I was working so I had to check my messages when I got off. In the message Jack told me he loved his ex and she had gotten out of rehab and that I need to tell her that we are not going out anymore.
Yeah I was more then steamed. I flipped and cried despite my want to hold it all in. I talked to whom we'll call Sara, and she was shocked and cried too. But as I thought, after 4 hours on the phone with her, She listened to him and completely forgave him. ( She'll Learn)
To be continued....
Goddess-o-WAR · Thu Nov 06, 2008 @ 05:45pm · 0 Comments |
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