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Just realized that I haven't posted anything up here in a very, very long time. I'll update more often. Maybe. Who reads these, anyway?
 Independent Renegade · Tue Apr 19, 2011 @ 12:29am · 0 Comments |
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I lost a good friend Friday morning, around 8:10. She and I were going about our morning routine, driving into town for my college class. There was to be a party instead of actual class, so I had the gift that I was to give to my college professor as a Secret Santa game.
She and I never made it to that party. She slipped on the ice, spun, and was hit by a full-sized Dodge Diesel. The truck was doing anywhere from 50 to 60 miles an hour.
I am only alive now because my best friend sacrificed herself to save my life. Never again will she and I make memories together, of splashing through mud and tearing through the back country. Never again will I be able to sit with her and remember the first boy I kissed, for the seat he sat in is no more.
My friend, my most reliable compatriot, my Jeep, will never smile at me with those beautifully doe-like headlights and slightly crooked bumper. No, she is silent now, a sad husk of a friend. Good-bye my sweet, for not only did I lose you, I may have lost the friend that may have helped me keep my memories of you alive. I loved you like a sister, a silent friend that was always there, always kept my secrets, and never told a soul what I did on those nights I was late. You saw some of my most dire tears, my saddest moments, and some of my happiest.
Good-bye. I miss you, but I am grateful for your sacrifice.
Rest Now
1987 - December 14, 2007
A Sad Smile
Strutting Your Stuff
I'm so Sorry
Thank You for your Sacrifice
Independent Renegade · Mon Dec 17, 2007 @ 01:56am · 2 Comments |
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“Tovaresh,” Partner. She looked down upon the simple cairn of stones at her feet, set so high among the mountain peaks that the world spread out in all its glory from that single point. A gust of wind billowed her robes against her, threatening to carry her away over the edge of the dizzying precipice. In a way, she wanted to let it take her, to dash her upon the jagged stones so many thousands of feet below.
She reached out to touch the headstone of the unmarked grave, but hesitated, unwilling to touch his resting place with hands that were no longer the ones he had known. The skin was burned to a gray charcoal, scarred and unrecognizable as even the hand of a woman. She pulled back, clenching her hand into a fist and staring at it with a mixture of loathing and despair. Once her hand, much like her face, had been delicate, beautiful, and full of life and love. When he had died, however, all of that had changed. In a way, she had gone mad. She turned to sorcery to bring him back into her life, and had sacrificed everything.
“Why?” She shouted to the sky, knowing that she would receive no answer aside from her own echoing voice from the cliffs below. “In thirty years I have gained so much power, power that no other being in this world would dare to even explore! I possess the power to summon the darkest of demons, converse with the mightiest of guardian spirits, and have given my soul to the Fire, and to what avail? I was promised over and over that I would be able to be with him again. Lies, all of them. I haven’t even felt his spirit in that Great Beyond. I am no longer human, no longer a woman deserving of any man.”
Her voice trailed off, her charred hand reaching to her face to feel the ugly scar slashed across her face and discoloring her skin clear up past her hairline. The powerful magic that had torn her flesh and rent limbs was evident all over her body. The price paid for dealing with beings of the Ether. As if her soul hadn’t been enough for them they had taken her beauty too. Even her eyes, once a deep and compassionate blue, had been changed to fit her now scarred appearance.
She knelt beside the pile of stones, keeping her distance from them. She could not even weep, for her crimson eyes where those of a demon, cold and callus, uncaring for the ways of a mortal woman. She longed to be by his side again, running through forests of deepest green and sailing the wildest oceans. Seven short years she had spent with him, and lost him to an event that none should witness, and she had.
Standing, she knew that she had finally made up her mind. She would never be with him now, in life or death. Her soul was locked away in the clutches of some fire demon, and he was forever barred from the land of the living. From her robes she took a book she had kept for all these long years, each page filled with poems and flowing writing tucked into the margins. She laid the dark cover against the stones and with a wave of her mutilated hand she sheltered it beneath them, by his side.
She stepped to the cliff’s edge, and looked down. The height was terrifying, but exhilarating. Beside her she saw the skull of some small predatory bird, perhaps a hawk or eagle. She stooped to it, and brought it to her eyes. The perfect item she needed. Her hands shook as she raised it to her face, melding the bone into her flesh, hiding much of the ugly scar there. It felt so smooth, she could almost imagine her beauty was there, instead of bleached white bone.
She stared across the massive expanse for a while, then turned her head and glanced at the cairn. Forward she stepped, into the emptiness of air. As she did, she saw a wisp of shadow watching her from the cairn, her book clutched against its chest in sadness. He had come, if even for a moment, to speak with her.
She fell, a tear working its way free of her demonic eyes. Se had seen him one last time.
~Inspired by Sarah McLaughlin's "Possession" and a few recent events in my life. Listen to the song after reading this, and you'll understand.
Visit my Avatar Submission Here.
Independent Renegade · Fri Oct 05, 2007 @ 01:58am · 0 Comments |
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So, Why Not Another Update From Me? |
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Okay, first things first: I am TAKEN! No more people asking me to be their Girlfriend! I have a person! *Stares around evilly* Don't even think about it.
Next on my agenda: The Aztec Tigers won their Homecoming game against Belen with a score of 26 to 16!
Thirdly: I have some interesting poetry somewhere that I need to post up. I haven't a clue as to why I want to, only that I believe that it would be a good thing. I still may not post it up though.
Fourth and Finally: I made a really neat display picture for my Myspace page. I think it is gorgeous. Not that anybody cares, but hey. Check it out at:
http://www.myspace.com/selenedarkstardante/
Independent Renegade · Sun Sep 16, 2007 @ 03:20am · 2 Comments |
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Well, summer has come and gone, a rapid two-and-a-half months that I felt made me a little more depressed than I should ever be. No, I don't mean depressed as in slit-my-wrists-and-die depressed, but depressed at what is the reality of the world. I have always known that the people of this world are a greedy lot, but never really thought much about it, only to grow a dislike for the humans.
Now, however, I know that humans are a shallow lot, beings driven by material wants. They do not strive toward a spiritual fulfillment, but instead covet riches of money and other greedy things. Maybe that is the source of my depression. I do not understand the constant money-grubbing nature of humans, or why it is so important to them...
However, besides my nature slowly slipping into the depths of darkest doubt, I have some interesting news.
Over the summer I went with my sister and visited my grandparents, went with my family and visited a friend in Denver, and managed to get a job at a Sonic Drive-in. Yeah, that was basically it. Though I did spar with my few friends, and had an enjoyable Sunday with a whole passel of them.
Well, I'll update some more later...
Independent Renegade · Tue Aug 21, 2007 @ 12:39am · 0 Comments |
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Yes, I went to Prom, though I swore never to go to a fancy thing ever again. I enjoyed it, albeit I was a little uncomfortable with my date. He's a great guy to have as a friend, but I don't think I could ever develop any sort of closer feelings for him. So yeah, I may update this later with a few more specifics.
The dances' theme was "Paris by Moonlight," and there was too many people there for my liking. Dinner was nice, with Chopsticks, Sesame Chicken and Teriaki Chicken.
My date paid for EVERYTHING, though I wanted to split the bill on the food and buy the pictures. I drove though, that was a plus. He's a senior, and I had to go pick him up... *Laughs* At least we got to be a bit off-kilter with everyone else...
Independent Renegade · Sun Apr 22, 2007 @ 11:40pm · 1 Comments |
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Terrible Years - Tears and Memories - 2007 |
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Like the title of this entry says, this year has been horrible, and hard on everybody at school.
In the past two months, students and former students of Aztec High have died. I will take a moment now to record their names and reserve for them a spot to be remembered by those who knew them and those who just wish to pay their respects.
Kalie Sitta - Sophomore. Daughter of Ms. Jene Seaton, the High school's Welding Instructor. She was shot and killed at a party. The shooting was an accident. Died March 11, 2007.
Ashley Harmon - Sophomore. Died of alcohol poisoning at a party by the lake. Died March 18, 2007.
Andrew Taylor - Former student. Had a fiancée, was in the National Guard. Cause of death was a gunshot to the head, and suspected as homicide. Graduated May 2005. Died April 13, 2007.
I never knew Kalie or Ashley, only heard their names. Andrew, however, I knew as a friend and commanding officer in JROTC. My classmates and I would always tease him, and call him by a nickname that I never knew the source of. Tinkerbell was a serious kid, but had his share of laughs and jokes. Everybody in JROTC will be hit hard with his loss.
I pray that these are the only names that will make it to this list. I do not wish to add anymore of my friends and fellow classmates to a list of names too young to have passed from this world.
Independent Renegade · Sun Apr 15, 2007 @ 07:28pm · 2 Comments |
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Random update in the insane Gemini... |
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! (Uh-huh... I hate New Year... One more blasted number to remember to change..)
Anyway, I'm excited because I:
FINALLY have my Jeep back from the bodyshop; she's so gorgeous! Her paint-job rocks! I might post pictures of her up... Maybe not....
Have a new computer game; Cool game, problem is, my video doesn't support it, so we (my dearest mom and dad) bought me a new card (which turned out not to be fast enough), and then had to uninstall it, which has brought me around to the problem at hand: my computer lost its marbles. It won't boot up normally. So, yeah, I may or may not be on as often as I would like... Rawr...
My kitty-kat is still as insane as ever... Wait, I never told you about her... Oh well, now you know she's insane, and still going at it...
I have a sweet sister, a loving family, and a Windchime from a good friend of mine! He's so sweet! *Smiles*
Anywho.... Christmas was fun, the day after was nice (Though I figured it would be fun to take flying lessons while in mid-gallop on my horse... Note to self: Sassy is a large horse, and does not turn on a dime. And ~H_D~ is lucky that she lept off, or she would have brought Sassy down on top of her. Full story later!), I have school to look forward to (Bleh... Must work on the Honors English Homework...), and life is normal.
Independent Renegade · Mon Jan 01, 2007 @ 05:57pm · 2 Comments |
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The Bird of Hermes is My Name, Devouring My Wings.... |
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WHHOOOTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hellsing OVA, ENGLISH VERSION!!!! YES!!!!
Crispin Freeman, original voice actor for Alucard of the Hellsing OST series will also be doing Alucard's voice once again in the OVA!!!!!!! ROCK ON FOREVER! *Giggles*
ANYWAY! THE RELEASE DATE FOR THE ENGLISH VERSION!?!?!?!
*DRUMROLL*
DECEMBER 5TH, 2006!!!!!!!!
*Does a little dance* I can handle the Japanese with English Subtitles, Hell, that's how I'm teaching myself Japanese, BUT, I MUST HEAR ALUCARD'S VOICE IN MY OWN LANGUAGE, IN HIS NATURAL LANGUAGE!!!!!!! *giggles, dances, and proceeds to act REALLY fangirlish* WHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
Independent Renegade · Sat Nov 04, 2006 @ 03:27am · 0 Comments |
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