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The animal I really dig
Above all others is the pig.
Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever.
Pigs are courteous. However,
Now and then, to break this rule,
One pig who is a fool.
What for example, would you say
If strolling through the woods one day,
Right there in front of you, you saw
A pig who'd built his house of STRAW?
The Wolf who saw it licked his lips,
And said, "That pig has had his chips."
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!
"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your
house in!"
The little pig began to pray,
But Wolfie blew his house away.
He shouted "Bacon, pork and ham!
"Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!"
And though he ate the pig fast,
He carefully kept the tail till last.
Wolf wandered on, a trifle bloated.
Surprise, surprise, for soon he noted
Another little house forpigs,
And this one had been built of TWIGS!
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!"
"No, no, by the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and i'll blow your house in!"
The wolf said, "Okay here we go!"
He then began to blow and blow.
The little pig began to squeal.
He cried, "Oh! Eolf! You've had one meal!"
"Why can't we talk and make a deal?"
The wolf replied, "Not on your nelly!"
As soon as the pig was in his belly.
"Two juicy little pigs!" Wolf cried,
"But still I m not satisfied!"
"I know full well my Tummy's bulging,
"But oh, how I adore indulgulging."
So creeping quietly as a mouse,
The Wolf approached another house,
A house which also had inside
A little piggy trying to hide.
But this one, Piggy Number Three,
Was bright and brainy as could be.
No straw for him, no twigs or sticks.
This pig had built his house of BRICKS
"You'll not get me!" the Piggy cried.
"I'll blow you down!" The wolf replied.
"You'll need," Pig said, "a lot of puff,
"And I don't think, you've got enough."
Wolf huffed and puffed and blew and blew.
The house stayed up as good as new.
"I'f I can't blow it down," Wolf said,
"I'll have to blow it up instead.
I'll come back in the dead of night
And blow it up with dynamite!"
Pig cried "You brute! I might have known!
Then picking up the telephone,
He dialled the as quickly as he could,
The number of Red Riding Hood.
"Hello," she said, "Who's speaking? Who?
"Oh hello Piggy, how d'you do?"
Pig cried "I need your help Miss Hood!"
"Oh, help me, please! D'you think you could?"
I'll try, of coarse, "Miss Hood replied.
"Whats on your mind?" . . . "A Wolf!" Pig cried.
"I know you've dealt with wolves before,
And now I've got one at my door!"
"My darling Pig," She said, "my sweet,
"That's something really up my street.
I've just begun to wash my hair.
"But when its dry, I'll be right there."
A short while later through the wood,
Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
The wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze
And yellowish like mayonnaise.
His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
And spit was dripping from his jaw.
Once more the maiden's eyelid flickers.
She draws a pistol from her knickers.
Once more, she hits the vital spot,
And kills him with a single shot.
Pig, peeping through the window, stood
And yelled, "Welldone, Miss Riding Hood!"
Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
For now, Miss Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a PIG SKIN TRAVALING CASE
 x Hinata Hyuga-Chan x · Tue Mar 31, 2009 @ 12:32am · 1 Comments |
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As soon as the Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He wen't and knocked on Grandma's door.
When Grandma opened it, she saw The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin, and Wolfie said, "May I come in?"
Poor Grandmamma was terrified,
"He's going to eat me up" She cried.
And she was absolutely right.
He ate her up in one big bite.
But Grandmamma was small and tough,
And Wolfie wailed "Thats not enough!
I haven't yet begun to feel
that I have had a decent meal!"
He ran around the kitchen yelping
"I've got to have another helping!"
Then he added with a frightful leer,
"I'm therefore going to wait right here
Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Comes home from walking in the wood."
He quickly put on grandma's clothes
(Of coarse he hadn't eaten thouse)
He dressed himself in coat and hat
He put on shoes after that
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Then sat himself in Grandma's chair.
In came the little girl in red.
She stopped. She staired. And then she said
"What big ears you have Grandma.
All the better to hear you with, the wolf replied
What big eyes you have Grandma
Said little red riding hood
All the better to see you with, the Wolf replied.
He sat there watching her and smiled.
He thought "I'm going to eat this child,
compaired to her old Grandmamma,
She's going to taste like caviare.
Then Little Red Riding Hood said, "But Grandma,
What a lovely great big furry coat you have on.
"Thats wrong!" Cried the Wolf "Have you forgot
to tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?"
"Ah well, nomatter what you say,
I'm going to eat you anyway."
The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims at the creatures head
and bang bang bang she shoots him dead.
A few weeks later in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said "Hello, and do please note,
My lovely furry WOLFSKIN COAT."
x Hinata Hyuga-Chan x · Sun Mar 29, 2009 @ 05:45pm · 1 Comments |
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