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I just realized I can muse here, seperated from my general friend-base, though who I love dearly, have to maintain this pseudo-godlike facade, or else all hell breaks loose.

What's on my mind tonight? I dunno, I suppose there's no avoiding the deeper issues of life. Before I couldn't sleep because I was disgusted with the fact that I failed at what I thought I was best at. Now I'm kept awake because although I've been given another chance, I'm afraid I'm going to screw it up again.

I'm trying my best to adjust to the new rules of the old game. Its easy to be the best when there's no-one to compare you to, but when you have to compete against a slough of comparisons, good or bad, well its just a whole new ballgame I suppose.

I need to get some type of hearing-aid, my eyes and ears are crapping out on me. I'm moving at a deplorable rate, I imagined I would have been framed and dragged off to prison on my wedding day by now, oh well, I can dream can't I?

In the end, I suppose the immense amount of material about love that's been injected into me since day 1 may not be entirely BS. I guess love is something I still believe in, its a dangerous thing though, it gives you the capacity for great bursts of super-human ability, and utter non-functionality, with no middle ground. Oh well, I'd rather die than be mediocre, so I suppose it works out for me just fine.

I was listening to Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls, today. That song always gives me a funny feeling, I've felt that way before, and if things go right, I'll get to feel that way again. And none too soon, you know what they say about wearing a mask for too long. You know I love cats, but I'm very much like a dog. Once I develop affections for someone I follow them around, unless they expressly tell me to go away, and all the alpha-male in me means cracka jack when my special someone tells me to do something. Some people may see that as weak, but when you spend all day leading good men, and crushing foul ones, its just blissful to have a good woman around to do stuff for, does that sound sexist, its not supposed to...anyway. I've just always felt that way, especially because 9/10 of my fellow menfolk make me want to vomit with their vile habits, whatever happened to being a gentleman?

So if I'm canine in nature, let's say I am a happy hound, because aliteration makes me sound like a Hallmark greeting card ^_^! But seriously, I have someone to rest my head on, and who I can go run and do stuff for, and that makes me so very happy, I just hope Im able to make them happy too, le-sigh. Well I've gone on long enough, this is me, signing off for now, Holy Knight out...