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i'm bored bored bored bored bored!!!!!!!

ok so last night kelsey, madeline, and i watched texas chainsaw massacre at kelsey's house and it totally rocked. i wouldn't mind being a horror movie director someday. it totally rocks.

i have been getting so ******** annoyed lately. by like everything. i considered the fact that i am only taking my meds spuradically as being a foctor, and i'm sure it is. but i'm ******** pissed at everything!! today was kinda shitty but yesterday was ok. and then on sunday i spent an hour in the car thinking of a plan for how i could break my arm and how much force it would take for me to break it with a hammer.

and then i sorta slipped with my pocket knife the other day. i don't think it counts as actual cutting but i did draw blood. which kinda sucks.

madeline is awesome and i can't wait to go to DISNEY ******** WORLD WITH HER!!!!!!!!11!!!

my goal item that i absolutely must buy in disney land is some sort of mickey mouse vibrator *crosses fingers* it's either in disney world or japan. i'm hoping it's in disney world.

we had band practice again today and it was neato keen. the song i wrote is SO ******** ANNOYING after playing it fifty times in a row. sad jessica has no rhythm... it's a bummer.

ok. definately had the best sex ever with madeline tonight. we humped like crazy!!
heart heart heart

someone just asked me a really serious question and i was really not sure how to answer it. it got me to thinking..

what is it like to be a lesbian?..

hmm. i told her that it was sort of like being straight only i like girls. i think there's more to it though. like knowing discrimination but also having a huge sense of comunity. i heart the lesbian community.

it's so hard for me to explain. i dunno.

i'm having some vaginal troubles. it seems that either i have a yeast infection of some sort of unknown std that i got from madeline. which actually, the std makes sense cuz madeline had the same sort of symptoms a couple of weeks ago. weird huh?

my p***y smells like beer.

i stayed home today except for my trumpet lesson with the tremendous dyke miss rider. it was very relaxing and i'd like to do it again. but i won't for a while.

like an idiot i didn't do any work that i should have done two days ago. but perhaps colleges will look past my grades and see my sparkling personality...haha.

i talked to madeline on the phone about spleens. your spleen is an organ that helps to filter toxins in the blood and releases lymph. it really isn't that important unless you are wounded in your spleen and then you could bleed to death unless it's removed. the rest of the body and the liver compensates for it's lack-of-spleen though. don't worry.

so i spent all afternoon snuggling with madeline and i didn't do any of the tremendous homework assignments that i need to turn in for a late grade. luckily, my whole family has contracted the flu except me so i might be able to blend in with them.

kissing madeline is always an adventure. we both dive in and neither one of us know what to expect except wetness. i feel bad for saying it... but i wish she kissed like ashley. slow and sultry. warm and full of flavor.

but the sex is excelent. if we're together for long enough we just can't help but go down on each other. and it's amazing! there is nothing more beautiful and tiring and dirty and smooth and tasty than giving head to my girlfriend. it's so satisfying. gratifying. our bodies twist together and we writhe and throb for a glorious 15 minutes untill one of us cums. and then we switch places. biting licking sucking thrusting rubbing up against one another. bliss.

then we cuddle. i love wrapping myself up in her arms and closing my eyes.

i'd love to take a sick day and just dream of her..