If we fight for life...
Shoulder still hurts but now only on and off. Friend said it looked almost dislocated but eh I really don't care anymore.
I had a rant to post but....I....can't. Sharing things with the public eye is just not my style I suppose. I know I can set the 'privacy' to something but whats the point in writing it here then? No one will see it. It'll sit on a database and I will forget about it. It does no good. Waste of time. At least this way someone might just get a laugh at my expense. Would make me somewhat useful I suppose....
I'll cover the jist of my rant. I really have never had much 'affection' and everyone I've let close to me has either left or been taken for one reason or by something or someone. As a result 2 main 'defining' things of my personality has happened. 1. I show caring for humanity in general and try to make everyone feel wanted on at least some level even if only acknowledging they exist. 2. I let almost NO ONE get close enough for me to 'love'. That sort of personal relationship just...I can't do it. And I don't think I will try again. I did recently and most of you that might read this know how that went. I don't think I'll try again anytime soon. Not worth it in the end. At least right now it seems that way.
Whats the point in all of this? Ah...good question good question. I guess to tell everyone: Be aware that every little thing you say, do, or put out there affects someone somewhere some how. Breathing even does it. Existing does. Why do I bring this to your attention? To tell you to think of these people you effect before you act. Does that mean put them before you? No! But try and pick the way of goign about something that hurts the least amount of people and helps the most. Maybe the path you've chosen is the one that does that even if it does hurt many. Okay. So be it. Your happiness comes first. Let those of us with a hero/martyr complex take care of coming second or even last. Yes we show and express pain but if you know someone has it let them keep the pain. it hurts us worse to see another suffer than to suffer ourselves.
Moral? THINK. Just freaking think. Think then act people. No matter what think.
To add: Another reason? Maybe some public showing I suppose. Some proof that I do matter out there to people and proof that thier not afraid to show it.
Will we find what we want?
