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Help!
I have a L.A. project that I'm working on, and I'm having issues! Ahhhh!
Here's my poem, what do you think?

The Shapes of Friendship
Who knows what many shapes of friendship we can find,
All we must do is look and we shall find it in our mind,
There are temples and flowers and sugar and sweets,
All around on all of the streets,
Always there to share with friends who we must find all on our own.
It seems to me, that everyone must, have at least one friend somewhere out there,
But who can say, if they really exist, that true friend who will never take care,
The one who will always stick around for the show,
Clapping and cheering in the very front row,
Until the curtain is finally closed,
There they shall wait happily posed,
All on their own by the green room,
Waiting and waiting for you to come out in costume.
Your friendship is there for sure and true, never to wilt, or fly away,
So, you can always count on that friendship bouquet,
Of friendship flowers to be headed your way.
Never worry, never fear, you’ll always have you friendship there,
You don’t have to look far, you don’t have to search,
A simple glance will reveal it to the unaware,
So go and sit under that kind old birch.
Friendship is always there no matter where you go, in all it’s shapes and sizes,
With all it’s surprises and all of it’s guises,
Friendship is there for you.


Thanks a bunch!!






User Comments: [1] [add]
frdee
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Mar 13, 2007 @ 05:47am
It sounds really good. The only thing is I'd break up the lines more and make the sentences more condenced. It is very "word-y" (sry if this is a little late...hehe)


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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