I have lived in the shadow of my family my whole life... every time some ones else does something wrong, its a slap on the wrist, if i do sonmething wrong, its yelloing and screaming for the next 48 hours. If some one gets 3rd place and i get 1st, i hear nothing, but they get all praise, if i attempt i fail my confidence is all but gone, and i no where to turn. thier are those who care but none are related by blood of any sort... what you and and everyone else sees is a faqade, it does not exist, my happiness is no more, my sanity walks on pins and needles and egg shells, if i continue then it hurts, if i don't then those few who care shall be hurt as i am... so i cannot fail, and so i shall perservere, and find my own way...
my family brings nothing but pain to me, and they don't even resigister it, it burns, hurts, and is bottled up to the point of explosion and none can see what they do to me, this includes my friends. my hatred for people who hurt me to feel good is aout equal to Gods in the Great Flood in the bible, but i keep it in check. It hurts me to have family hurt me but when my adopted family begins to foloow in, my life seems pointless, but i must survive, to help others.
the thing i have seen in my life are enough to put nightmares in the most stout person, and turn his legs to jelly, his arms to lead, and his head to cold stone, his heart to ice, but i shall never fall to this pain, my mind has suffered enough, and i will not give in to anyone anymore! if i am to conteiue i will need the strength of friends to feed off of and regain my confidence and composure, and i will survive!
Now you have a true insight to what happened to me, and in my RL, you truely cannot tell what a person is like, or has gone through untill they tell you, and even then you may never understand them.
~You ever show you face to me or speak to my friend again, and i promise i will bring the legions of hell upon you with out remorse~
a quote of mine from a seven years ago, a fight to defend a dear friend i now consider my sister.
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Meaninginthetrees Community Member |
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My friend and brother, this entry in your journal adds to a theory I once made about you and I. We appear to be 2 halves of the same whole. To put it in an easy to understand form, if this were Kingdom Hearts then you would be a heartless while I would be a nobody. You are always filled with a a fire that can only come from a heart that has become one with the darkness, while I manage to not have emotion at all like I don't have a heart. I am unsure as to whether or not you would agree with this theory, but it does explain why we get along so well. He are bonded to one another, just Bastila and Revan or Kriea and the exile. What happens to one will affect the other. Think about it...