Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Current mood: Exausted and slightly lightheaded

Today was an absolute nightmare. My cousin apparently told Hatori that I had been sick. So, lo and behold, he shows up at my house.
You see, I've been freezing cold most days, walking around with 5 layers and a blanket. I'm not very hungry, the only thing I want to do is sleep and I have this cough that won't go away. Sometimes, I cough so hard I can't catch my breath, so my lungs strain because I have no air inside of me to cough with. That in turn makes me panic and then I get hysterical and can't breath. In the end I start to suffocate. All this is a result of me not taking care of myself properly, especially after that night in the park.
Anyway, Hatori assessed me as getting better when he came by this morning. He does house calls special for me still. I couldn't believe how much extra pain I had when he came by, that is until what happened this morning.
I was sitting in my green bathrobe in the front room, watching the sky and birds. He came in, his white doctors coat folded over his arm and his medical case in hand. He came over to me with that solemn look on his face and listened to me breath and checked all my vitals and such. After that he told me that exercise and food would get me on my feet in no time. So, I went to the kitchen to make him some tea, and get myself some food.
He followed me in, and at first it was that awkward silence thing. I coughed lightly, trying to walk slowly because I was uneasy still, my slipper scuffing against the tile floor. I handed him his cup and he took a sip. It was still hot so he set it on the counter to cool. I went into the cupboard to gather some stuff to make soup and he came over to me. Something in his manner made me suddenly very nervous and uptight, my stomach started doing flips and I tried to move away from him.
"How's Kana? Are you guys doing well?" I asked him, trying to sound more secure with my situation than I was.
"I'm hungry," he told me, putting his hand on the counter in such a way that I couldn't get around him. He didn't even respond to my question.
"Well, there is plenty of food in the cupboard that I'm not going to eat anytime soon, help yourself."
"Not for food," he muttered. My body stiffened, his hands spun my body around and I came face to face with the monster I once called my love. "For you."
"Hatori, stop, your scaring-" he kissed me roughly, holding my head with one hand. His other hand followed my body down to the strand of my bath robe.
My mind was racing so fast I can't remember half the thoughts. He was going to rape me, in my own kitchen. I didn't have the strength to stop him. I couldn't call for help, I couldn't move, I had to succumb to his will. I suddenly became aware of hands on my skin, touching me. Tears stared flowing down my face as I tried to pull away.
Writing about it now, makes me sick to my stomach. I can't tell what happened after that. I blacked out after I felt his body press to mine, but what I can tell you is that when I woke again, I was in the hospital. I keep telling myself that it was a dream, but I don't know.
So I'm here now, a clinic, with no real recollection of how I got there. My cousin was by my side when I woke up, she said that she'd come by and I passed out, but when I saw Hatori, he was acting funny, like something had happened between us. I couldn't look him in the eye, in fact, I couldn't stand to have in the room. It was so bad that I started crying, which sent me into fits of coughing and choking.
"Hush, it's okay," I knew that voice, it was Link. "Breath."
"I told him you were here," my cousin explained. Hatori and Link stood on opposite sides of my bed and stared at each other a moment. They stood, sizing each other up, then finally Hatori stretched out his hand to shake Link’s, introducing himself.
"Dr. Hatori Sohma. Pleased to meet you."
"Link."
"Take care," he said to me, and I turned away afraid, half burying myself under my bed sheets.
"Thank you doctor," my cousin chimed as he walked out. Then she turned to me. "What happened? You and Hatori, your acting oddly..."
I looked at Link, and at my cousin, I didn't want to say, but I couldn't be sure what happened.
"How long have I been here?"
"All day," my cousin responded. Link walked over to the window where the sun was setting in the sky. The light played across his handsome features, his presence comforted me, but he knew it wasn't a conversation for him to be part of.
"How?"
"Hatori and I brought you," I must have looked frightened for a moment cause she continued hurriedly. "I went by your house this morning to check on you and you were wheezing pretty bad, we were talking, and I said something about how that new ranch hand got his boots eaten by a horse and you started laughing..." Suddenly, what she was saying was becoming crystal clear. I had been laughing, then I started to choke and couldn't breath. I must have passed out then. "...Hatori and I got you here just in time to get you a good room. Are you okay?" She asked. I could feel my face pale as I closed my eyes, picturing the dream over again. There were a lot of inconsistencies, my house wasn't quite right, and Hatori would never have taken his jacket off during a call. If I'd thought about it earlier I wouldn't have freaked out at Hatori, somehow still, it frightened me. When I opened them again my cousin smiled at me.
"Your still tired huh? I'll let you rest then. Hatori says your to stay here over night. He's really concerned about you I hope you know."
"I know," I nodded and turned to Link, who'd walked back over to the bed. His blue eyes stared deep at me, I knew he could read my emotions, so I yawned and closed my eyes. "Thank you, for coming."
"Your welcome," my cousin chimed, "I'll be back tomorrow."
I opened my eyes again as she left the room with Link following behind. I smiled at him and said thank you again. He gave me a smile back and closed the door.
That brings me to about now. You see, today really was a nightmare, and I think I was worse off then my cousin told me. Why else would Link have come to see me? I haven’t talked to him since the ball.
I know my cousin cares about me, and Hatori too....
but...why would Link?