-=- Just adding to the worst days of my life..-=-
As of 1-20-05 Andrea i am NOT your friend anymore... I honestly thought i could trust you.. And you turn your back on be and tell, this was my last strand of trust between us and you broke it. That was not saposted to leave that room and you let it, i bet you didnt even mention what you.. ******** you i hate you.. Thanks for adding to my practical suicidal day.
I failed the ******** math MCAS again.. maybe i was not paying attention? Idk what im doing wrong.. Math lab is clearly not helping because ive been taking it for two years. Am i just ******** stupid? I do fine in math class.. i get B's............i failed by two points again..
My dad has been yelling at me. He gave me money for china town in exchange for me doing TONS of chores.. Which i have been doing. The other night i asked him to buy me a scrapbook for creative writing, and he freaked out on me.. because i told him never mind about the scrap book because he kept complaining about the money, I quote.. exactly.. " LISA! what the ********! ******** YOU! YOU COULDENT HAVE SPENT 7$ ON A SCRAP BOOK IN CHINA TOWN!? NO ******** THAT, YOU ******** b***h WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT? YOU TAKE ME AND YOUR MOTHER FOR GRANTED, GET OFF THAT ******** COMPUTER AND GET IN YOUR ROOM!" And the entire time he kept pounding his fists on the table next to me, screaming in my ear, i was so upset that i was shaking, obviously i realized i could have bought one, and i was stupid for not, but he did not have to speak to me that way, it hurt a lot. I cried for a long time and then that turned to hatred and anger.
I dont know what to do with myself anymore, OBVIOUSLY killing myself is not in order, thats stupid. But I have thought about it, which is not healthy. My life hasent been too great these past few months, im lost and restless, angry and feeling utterly alone with no one to trust.. how angsty of me.. but really i dont know what to do
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