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These are the records of certain occurrences and musings in my life. It is probably not of much importance to you, unless you enjoy being a sleuth or have some vague interest in listening to me prattle about my flavour-of-the-month.
Into My Hands - Such Sadness and Grace
Today was an extremely... extremely abnormal day. Lucky you might even say... Strangely strangely lucky. I'm never lucky. Maybe karma is repaying me for all the emotional pain I've suffered. Too bad karma didn't realize it doesn't measure up... and karma will probably get me for that comment.

In the morning I felt sick, but I soon got over that. I got to school and felt pretty cheerful, which is strange because I have nothing to be happy about. I decided I'd try to be happy, but I didn't think it'd actually work.

So, I tried to keep a journal of EVERYthing that happened in the day. It was a pretty good idea at the time... Except by the time the day was finished, I had taken up at least four pages. My teachers and peers noticed me scribbling away in it all day and scoffed at me, but I don't care much ...

So, I was on Gaia all morning again. I sold some stuff to buy a kitsune mask, and put together my current absoloutely cute avatar! <3 It looks awesome, if I say so myself. Very foxy! Heheh, great pun, huh? I talked with the person who kindly bought my things, she was a very nice person! O_O There was someone else too, a guy into DBZ. They both like Naruto!

So, I went to lunch pretty happy. Spent that sending 'Dear Diary-chan' notes to Ari, and talking to those two people. I didn't eat anything, but I didn't mind either... Wasn't really hungry. Cooking was pretty sour - teacher got mad at me for my journal and forced me to take the note. I still need to finish my cook book.

Math was... was... well... like it always is; Unexpecting! Surprising! ... Today ... Absoloutely shocking...

First off I spent Math in a pretty good mood, a rare genuine smile on my face, spirits high. Our work was easy, and our teacher once again let us step all over her, not even caring where we were or what we were doing. I think she is permanent, too ... I think our math teacher got fired!

Well, Kelley went off for a washroom break, and almost everyone in the classroom was gone... that is, except for me and Freddy. Then, out of the blue, he asks me to come over and see something, so I oblige and when I come over ... he pulls his jacket off something and... It's a pink rose!

The pink rose he had said he was going to get for me. He honestly, honestly got it. I was overwhelmed, I didn't know what to do!

I accepted it with a meek "thank you" ... I think ... that getting that rose was the nicest thing anyone had ever, ever done for me. I said that out loud, aswell. The whole class went into chaos after the deed was done, making comments about Freddy liking me.

... He just might, he honestly just might, and that worries me so much, because... I want to like Freddy back, but I just don't. I don't feel anything for him at all except for that Friendshipy vibe ... I don't feel like my heart is going to burst when I'm around him, I don't feel like there are butterflies in my stomach, like my face is hot, quivers in knees... Not like I do around HIM...

I was explaining that to Kelley, who insisted that I go out with Freddy, when Justin - who happened to be there - overheard what I was saying and turned around and let the WHOOOOOLE class know how I felt.

"HEY HEY! BRITTANY DOESN'T LOVE FREDDY, SHE LOVES <him>!" ( I'm sorry, I won't say his name anymore.. if I do, then It'll be too depressing. Plus he doesn't want to be mentioned by me... ever. )

Everyone immediately started asking who 'he' was. I just told them all to shut the hell up.

After school ended, I thanked Freddy again, and took the flowers home where my mother got all excited about them and then helped me put them in a vase in my room. After that, I cleaned my room then went to Gabby's house, but by then it was about dinner time-ish and I was scolded lightly.

We went to the mall, and I had alot of fun. I bought Gabby and me some slushies, and we shopped around for Halloween costumes even though I couldn't find the one I wanted in the end - black felt rabbit set. I didn't talk about 'him' at all except the times when STEVEN BROUGHT IT UP ON PURPOSE, so I'd get mad at him then say something retarded and life went on. There was a point where I did a mini-rant though... If only I could stop talking about him and leave him alone, he might stop thinking I was such a nutjob, but it's unfortunate that it's so impossible to me ... I'm always obsessing about SOMETHING ... before him, it was Edward Elric, and before that it was Negi Springfield, and etc.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that Kelley forced me into counselling. I don't need it, I don't want it, but she was NEVER SHUTTING UP, so I finally let myself be pushed into it. Do I really sound that bad that people want me to go into counselling? Alas...

Well, besides the parts where I talked about 'him' my day today was undeniably the epitome of cheerfulness, happiness, and luckiness. I mean, I was happy for no reason, I managed to put a smile on my face, I recieved a very beautiful pink rose, I got to go shopping, my bus actually came when I wanted it to... I was on time...

Yeah, today wasn't that bad considering it's me!





 
 
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