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the nobody
i feel that i am a nobody......i bet none of you even read this anyway other than me and another person. well just lately for the past 3 months i just been feeling crappy and i dont know why. it just i keep feeling a void in my life and its just eating at me. i feel that i have no real friends except for cheryl, DC and tyler. everyone else just puts up with me. for ppl that have known me for a long time have noticed this. the allways say hey why arent you so happy and cheerful anymore. the reason why because it annoys everyone. i have heard that ever since i was 8 so thats when i have been distancing myself from everyone. no has never liked me they just put up with me. cuz i know that when im gone they talk about me behind my back. I try to stay quiet but when ppl start talking to me the they never want to listen. so why talk to me. i have always been told to shut up just because i spoke my mind and ppl nvr like to hear what i have to say. they just nod there head and act like they agree when in reality they just want to me to shut up. ppl mistake me for following them when im not i just feel like being around ppl even though noone eccepts me for who i am. they think that i am bother some and i know and i have been working on that for years. only a few know my past and the things i used to do and they know that i sometimes go back to that time and do those things again. i nvr have reall yfit in anywhere and i barley have any friends. sure some of you are like whatever i have a lot but you sont know what i consider to be a friend. just bc i talk to ppl doesnt mean there mu friend. a lot of ppl say i talk about anime too much. its not my fault that it is my hobby and i like to share it with others. i do talk about other things but ppl fail ot notice it at all. even if you call me a liar for writing this that just shows how well you know me. i barley have any child hood friends bc i moved a lot and i only have a few and yet we have grown apart. thats why i never talk alot unless im around ppl im comfertable with which is not that many ppl............................................i try to be accepted but it nvr works i am a loner. some friend you ar e so n so i have known you almost forever and yet you treaty me like crap i have only treated yu with kindness and yet you just say im annoying i never talk to you unless i want to hang out or have a question how is that annoying and they are manily yes or no answers ppl suck and they always misunderstand me and they wonder y i am so distant. i also have been called a lesbian recently. how can someone say that about me. that is not true. is it bc my two closest friends are girls. i am straight and whoever is spreading this rumer about me needs to be sent in the darkest corner in space and sufficant in its cold emptiness and die slowly. i have an idea who said it but i wont say anything. you dont know me or my past so you cant say im a poser....................i feel like screaming at the whole world and knocking it into a black abiss where everyone can sink into the darkness and leave mme the hell alone. i think that if i was to dissapear i would make eveyones lives better. i wouldnt piss of my dad, sister or my mom or my so-called friends. if you are reading this maybe now you can see how i somewhat am or why i act this way. no one likes me and if they say they do u r lying
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