Well i havent slept all nite... and took a nice long walk at 5am to the local closed down airport.. just to sit.
Didnt clear my mind much to be honest... But it helped a little to be out of the house.. and my little ipod kept me going.
Im a little lost in life at the moment.. to who i am and where all this is going.. i doubt its going anywhere and im a little less than nothing.
I should be going rideing on my bike in a little while... cycle around till i get bored and come home.. but right now i think i could go forever... just to be a million miles away from this place and my thoughts.
What happened to the me from 3months ago? the carefree drink every thursday fun time gal who was always down at the charts having a laugh with a billion friends round me??
She seems to be hideing somewhere.. maybe proping up a bar somewhere remote with the company of the bartender keeping her amused lol.
But apart from my swelled gum and my headake... and the lack of sleep in the last 24hours.. and my total lack of self... im great and everythings fine lol.
Untill this morning id forgotten how beautiful sunrises were i was amazed how the light just apears ... beauty in simple things.
Life just seems a little insignificant when theres people with much worse troubles in the world i suppose... doesnt stop me worrieing about them though.
Last night i had a long and meaningful chat with my friend sean... *for once seans not the deep and meaningful type*... but he told me he loved and respected me for always being honest about how i feel... and what i think.. it made me smile that someone sees some good in me however little it is.
Not only that we spoke about a lot of things that bother me about stuff, and for a little while it was just nice to share a conversation that had meaning.
I also spoke to my friend Rich... *looks like cloud from FF7* we spoke about religion and about our loved ones we'd lost.. was nice to get some of that stuff off my chest.. we spoke about tattoos and their meanings *which ones we wanted and why we wanted them*
Me and rich are very much alike... hes pretty cool to talk too..
Anywhos... i bet none of you read to this point not that you read this anyways LOL...
Arguements are pointless they just make people say they will do what you want to end the fight.. they never work things out because if your honest about what you think people dont like it and take offence... its not a good way to go... but hey you cant keep smileing when your hurt/annoyed just for the sake of everyone else..
True friends will take what you say and make things better, lesser friends will get mad storm off and not talk to you or be off with you... i learnt that yesterday.... and it continues today... But what the hey...
If i cared what everyone thought of me all the time id be a nervious wreck and never say a word to anyone... AS IF! its not me.
Didnt clear my mind much to be honest... But it helped a little to be out of the house.. and my little ipod kept me going.
Im a little lost in life at the moment.. to who i am and where all this is going.. i doubt its going anywhere and im a little less than nothing.
I should be going rideing on my bike in a little while... cycle around till i get bored and come home.. but right now i think i could go forever... just to be a million miles away from this place and my thoughts.
What happened to the me from 3months ago? the carefree drink every thursday fun time gal who was always down at the charts having a laugh with a billion friends round me??
She seems to be hideing somewhere.. maybe proping up a bar somewhere remote with the company of the bartender keeping her amused lol.
But apart from my swelled gum and my headake... and the lack of sleep in the last 24hours.. and my total lack of self... im great and everythings fine lol.
Untill this morning id forgotten how beautiful sunrises were i was amazed how the light just apears ... beauty in simple things.
Life just seems a little insignificant when theres people with much worse troubles in the world i suppose... doesnt stop me worrieing about them though.
Last night i had a long and meaningful chat with my friend sean... *for once seans not the deep and meaningful type*... but he told me he loved and respected me for always being honest about how i feel... and what i think.. it made me smile that someone sees some good in me however little it is.
Not only that we spoke about a lot of things that bother me about stuff, and for a little while it was just nice to share a conversation that had meaning.
I also spoke to my friend Rich... *looks like cloud from FF7* we spoke about religion and about our loved ones we'd lost.. was nice to get some of that stuff off my chest.. we spoke about tattoos and their meanings *which ones we wanted and why we wanted them*
Me and rich are very much alike... hes pretty cool to talk too..
Anywhos... i bet none of you read to this point not that you read this anyways LOL...
Arguements are pointless they just make people say they will do what you want to end the fight.. they never work things out because if your honest about what you think people dont like it and take offence... its not a good way to go... but hey you cant keep smileing when your hurt/annoyed just for the sake of everyone else..
True friends will take what you say and make things better, lesser friends will get mad storm off and not talk to you or be off with you... i learnt that yesterday.... and it continues today... But what the hey...
If i cared what everyone thought of me all the time id be a nervious wreck and never say a word to anyone... AS IF! its not me.
End of transmittion.
Over and out!.
Community Member
i wish i could come with you to a world that only thins that are good in life exist like you for example heart we could be eternally happy and ride dragonsorwhat ever takes our fancy^_^ love you