Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Panda-tastic
My rants, not a life plan.


<center> I Did It~!!!!!!


I love me so much~! I'm a bit of a sadistic b***h right now, but thank you ******** GOD its over~!!! heart heart heart heart

I am finally rid of Shadow~! I did it~! No more whining baby for me~! No more makin me feel like s**t anymore~! Heh, I am finally released from that bastards hold and I didn't even have to be reborn~!!!!!! whee whee whee

I told them all the truth, so its all okay now. I can move on. I can let go of Brandon, Shadow, and Kevin as long as they know the truth. I can drop Chris like a bad habit 'cause he's a b***h xd But Brandon and Kevin...hurts to let go of sad I mean sweatdrop Brandon didn't cause trouble but if I didn't tell him Shadow would have told him in a ******** up way. I prefer for him to know from my own words. So Brandon got offline to decide now if he still wants to be my friend. Kevin...eh, I feel I have done harm. Teh kid ish in da love with me and I like.... sweatdrop betrayed him. Its amazing how one lie can affect people so greatly.

xd Shadow is just like his moma though. xd What a lil b***h~! But, I think of it like this, as atleast his mom won't have to worry about the girl he was trying to cyber with~! xd ..... sweatdrop Damn it, his mom beat me. Older women have such power :XP: I can't wait till I get older and 'pwn' the younger girls xd

Word's can't describe how free I feel. I think I can breath again whee I think I can laugh without my doubts screaming in the back of my head. I think I can be happy, alone. Like before, blaugh

I figure Shadow is going to make Brandon hate me like before, so he can be secure about the only friend he has xd I don't care though. Brandon will do what he thinks is right, he's a smart kid and he'll atleast learn from this if nothing else.

::sighs dreamily:: I am free. I don't lie or hold secrete's anymore...I am okay. I think I am atleast. whee

I'm texting Kev right now, he really loves me. Despite what I have done, he literally does. He'd die for me and I did this to him...something just doesn't feel right about this.

Shadow called me a 'plastic sadistic b***h'. xd He doesn't even know what half of those words mean and he used them so boldly. 3nodding If it wasn't for me the kid would be typing like an internet retard, he so owe's me but I aint sweatin it.

xd I didn't think I would be typign abotu this today. I had a whole list of others things on my agenda. But now this is most important.

Maybe Shadow is right about me? Maybe I am one of those plastic fake bitchs who thrive on being sadistic to the unsuspecting? Yet...Onii-san doesn't think I am, and I believe his opnion before I believe crazy a** Shadows.

I think Shadow got so mad at me because he learned the truth and didnt' want to accept he had become my play toy. At first, it was all real. But Shadow is an a*****e, and mean; I take net relationships seriously, and I think he played with it more than he should have. I hope he hurts. I hope he cringes with pain. Most of all though, I hope his new obsession Desiree hurts him as he hurt me. Yet, I don't want that at all. I want them to be happy. Who know's, maybe he'll get her pregnant and they'll be premature parents or something? Then he'll have to stay with her. He told me he knew he wouldn't love her forever, he just wanted to date her and have fun and stuff and leave her. sweatdrop Thats mean...thats why I ended up just telling him how I really felt towards him :XP: He flipped out, wink its his ADHD though. My little brother has it and does the same thing. I give a week at the most till he is depressed about me 3nodding Just like my little bro gets when he's mad 3nodding

I have such an ego right now! gonk I don't know why...me thinks I am growing up.

Well, atleast I can play RO till my hearts conent without worrying about Shadow, Brandon, and Kev who don't want to play anymore. Well, Kev does :XP: but he got his account deleted. So I guess I really can't.

Its so weird what I got myself into, but I can finally say without regret, I have found my happiness. Friends are going well in school, I'm getting ready to take the SAT and ACT, colleges are swooning over me, I've feel accepted, I feel pretty for once in my life, I'm making friends on Gaia easily, my shop on Gaia is workin well, I'm in the process of getting a real job, I know I am getting almost everything I wanted for Christmas, I don't feel as pressured anymore, and in the end no matter what I have meh Onii-san. For some reason, sweatdrop having such a great friend makes everything feel better.

redface I get the feeling Onii-san ish da caring more for me~! Know whats best? Its not 'cause he wants in my pants or I want in his wink I have never had such a beautiful relationship with anyone, sweatdrop whats sad it that its just on the net though crying I ish da pathetic, but I don't care wink Onii-san makes it all better, and I don't hurt as much just havin him. He's my bestest friend in the world, since Shadow resigned from the task now he's the only best one I have sweatdrop

Joker hasn't been online at all sweatdrop Giro told me he's just been busy but I miss talkin to him. sad He was meh friend, and I look out for friends 3nodding

I just can't say it more, I feel so damn good. I am so happy 4laugh I can scream I'm so happy~! I don't feel like a bad person anymore. Everyone know's the truth.

I am still talking to Kevin on text, unsure if he still wants to be my friend or not...it is all up to him. I won't try to persuade him not to, he deserves to feel as he does. He can hate me if he wants, but he's my bud and I love him regardless. 3nodding

I haven't been this happy since I started 'net dating' Chris back in late August. The lieing is over, and no matter how much I want to protect someone I will never lie again. The truth makes me happy, and I'm going to stick with that whee heart





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum