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Because why not!
So I really don't have a particular reason why I'm typing this journal entry this time. It's really just a rant because I don't feel like there's anyone I can rant to (either they're busy right now, busy in general or I just plain can't talk/rant with them anymore). Yo, that includes people who are always "offline" in Discord but I never know if they're actually offline or not! I mean, for me it's different. I'm offline to keep my existence from coming to mind for someone. Like, things aren't good. Not at all. Nuh uh. But if you message me, I'll still receive the message and I'll still reply (if I can or have a reply). But sometimes there are just people that always appear offline but even if you message them, sometimes they just either won't see the message ever or refuse to reply. I can't tell, I never hear anything back. But that's a bit beside the point, if I had one. Finals season is upon us! At least, it is for me. Tsk, I dislike this season, but at the same time I like this season. This season being winter. My favourite season, did you know? I like the cold, and while it makes it harder to go out on late night walks because your ears tend to freeze off with a glow brighter than Rudolph's nose but I always loved seeing my breath in the dark winter nights. Even better if there's snow too. Maybe in a few weeks. Speaking of which, I'm kinda disappointed. I never got snowed in on campus yet, despite campus being on a mountain. It's happened before to people, I don't see why it can't happen to me! But oh well, maybe I'm just not meant to because it might end up with me stupidly choosing to walk home at night even after the buses aren't running down the mountain anymore. And I hear that there are big coyotes around the mountain too. It's not thaaaaat much of a distance though. Maybe an hour and a half walk down? If I can even find my way down... But at least there'd be plenty of time to walk, think and listen to music! I love doing that sometimes, it helps me sort out my thoughts. Or I'll overthink and it makes me feel worse. Uggh, I never like overthinking. I mean, yeah it often leads me to realizing something about whatever I'm overthinking about and I'll often go over a lot more perspectives or possibilities than I would've had originally, but it could also give me like.....doki doki and not in the good way. Kinda like a certain someone. Who honestly I'm starting to get the same vibes as the person from the Anxiety letter journal entry. You know who you are, the one that got me started on a certain game which you still take time to play. Nnngh. I saw you playing it earlier today. I've been playing it a bit more recently because a newer friend of mine badgered me into playing and I wanted to learn a bit more about it so I've been practicing and trying to learn but wow. I'm just going to stop that here. Nothing good is going to come out of that. By the way, for anyone else reading this, have you heard of "mxmtoon"? She makes quite nice songs! Maybe it's not everyone's style, ukulele and vocals, but I've been enjoying the songs. Some of them are quite relatable. Now if only my vocal range was like that so I could actually sing along...I've been listening to the songs while I've been trying to study though. And gosh, once again I question why I even took this course. I'm by no means a science-y person, but this specific course is kinda science heavy....I mean, Biological Psychology! It's almost all science! Ugh, don't even get me started on the diagrams and terms. I can't remember half of them and some of these diagrams just go over my head unless I take a while to read over it a few times. Yeah, I'm lazy. But hey, science never came easily to me. I understand logic. I understand reasoning. I don't understand why I'm still trying to learn these things. HECK. This has been a nice rant. At least burned a good half hour. Okay, procrastination and spilling out thoughts is done now. And you can kinda tell I was just spilling things out. Didn't even bother separating things into lines or paragraphs because screw that. My thoughts aren't orderly! Get some more sleep, eat well and take care of yourself! For you should know that you are oh so loved and so, so precious.
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