it still brings me pain, but I'm not ready for the loneliness
that is living without it. Living without the memory and love for them, of them.
I envision them far away somewhere, maintaining a life now that I am out of the picture.
I have fantasized about their stories and the way that maybe, just maybe, I'll find them in someone else that I'll meet, someone new.
when I am filled with fear about my future, I try to tell myself to slow down.
I know what I enjoy. There are a few things I want, I still remember joy,
and because I get lost in these little things,
I find something more. Something that often blacks out my skies.
still, I find it more difficult to continue as I had before, when I relied
on their company and security within my soul.
I was a different person then.
people from my past, or simply those that met me one year ago,
have said that I'm a different person now. I would have been more brazen
about admitting this fact... back in January.
I was filled with... fire.
I guess I neglected that I've always been of ice too.
I thought when they were gone away that these aspects of myself would disappear.
I forget at times that they were just, reflections of me.
