Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Disguise
I walk to work...putting on my best smile ever.
But it isn't my true smile at all...at times I would fake it when possible or try to be happy so the bosses and the guy group don't notice...
My plan is succeeding but it won't last for long...
That worries me...I don't like it when people see me sad and wonder why...
All the questions...all need a answer...
Sometimes I don't even want to answer...besides my questions are usually ignored or brushed away...so why should I answer their questions?
They already know I am human...I mean why would they be so kind to me if I wasn't?
Yet...whenever I ask questions it's like I'm not alive...just a ghost to them.
I wish I can speak out...I wish I was visible.
Even if I am visible...it is never the right time when I want to be seen at all...
At times I am tired...upset...even angry...who knows what I might feel the next day...
During the times when I want to fade away...I look at the walls and space out.
Thinking of who I am...what "they" are doing...and how "they" are feeling...the ones out of my reach.
Wondering what dangers "they" have found this time, what "they" are feeling at times when I need them the most.
I do wonder though...
What is it that "they" see in me now? Do "they" still care? Do "they" wonder about how I am feeling as much as I do for them?
So many questions....yet I can never ask...
-Snow that flutters down like feathers