I try, and try to explain but no one understands it the way I want them to.
My sister sees it as complaining, my mother see it as complaining but I'm trying to tell them how I feel.
I am the eldest of my siblings and so I always have to take care of them, and watch them so they wouldn't get in trouble.
I don't mind doing these things, I'm glad to do it since I feel much more calmer when I'm sure they're safe.
In my heart I really just want some space, on my birthdays, on trips all I do is watch over the younger ones and do nothing but that all day.
When I try to tell them that "For once, I just want to follow suit. When we make plans to go to the movies on my birthday, please don't get my hopes up high only to crush them by saying we'll have a cook out."
*Note: When ever we have a cook out I only ever get one hot dog because by the time I get outside to get something to eat everyone else has either eaten all of the food or what is left is the burnt pieces of meat*
Today, I tried telling my sister that it's a bit unfair that her birthday and my brothers birthday's are always fun for them. They get cards and gifts and cake, but I merely get five dollars and a "Happy birthday." Once on my birthday we were supposed to go see the movie I wanted to see...but as always something went wrong, I tried to place my hands on my sister's shoulders but she kicked her foot back causing me to bend my ankle the wrong way and I bruised my foot muscle. I couldn't go to the movies and I spent the rest of my birthday in pain. After that I spent two days awake because I was up crying because my foot hurt so much whenever I moved or adjusted myself.
Another time would be when I came home from school, it was my birthday my mother gave me a homemade cake with no icing, though I was happy about that since I don't like icing. So I guess that was a good one but that cake was all I got, I might have gotten money....Five dollars though since I can't remember you can all guess that that day must not have been all that great.
As an example of how I get in trouble over my sisters stupidity-
Once she stole twenty dollars from our mother, she didn't tell me about it and said she found it. So we bought some lunch for school with it, our mother soon noticed some money was missing and questioned us. I pleaded the truth and my only lied, I told her "Gabby said she found that money." But I still got in trouble over it because why would our mother believe me when I told her that, I mean my sister was practically a thief and I had spent some of the money as well without knowing where it came from.
My sister has great birthdays, I don't
My sister has friends, I don't
My sister can talk to people without being weird, I can't
My sister can go on a vacation for a day and do what ever she wants, I can't because I'm always stuck with my baby brother
Though I bet if anyone saw this they would just say I was complaining and that'd I'd have to just suck it up of course, everyone does...
For once I'd like for someone to understand this and give me a day to myself.
 Nightmares are Temporary · Tue Aug 28, 2012 @ 09:56pm · 0 Comments |
