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ok so i just need to write this and just to be able to get it out of my head at least for now
so last night i had a dream that chris came here and surprised me for my birthday. ive had the same dream over and over for a little while now but last night the dream went a little different... he landed up staying here and being with me for good
it felt so good and i felt so happy
i kinda really hatted waking up >.>
i know its weird and stuff but as much as i hate surprises i wish that one would come true... at least the surprise of him just waking me up or something weird like that on my birthday
i think id have a heart attack lol
anyways i know it won't happen but i just needed to write it down so maybe for now i can just get my head clear before i try to sleep tonight
ok, i am rambling now and i know i made a tone of mistakes so i will call it a night now!
night night journal

edit:: how do i turn my brain off? gr note to self figure it out crying