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So someone became my friend last August 2011, and I was really anxious about him coming home back then, but in a good way. Back in highschool, I see him and his friends as if they are kings and queens. They are not from the same class as mine, but they are kind of good looking and attractive, at least in everyone's opinion, and even mine. Though I never really paid attention on him back then, I just look whenever I see them and nothing. The first interaction we've ever had was back in 2010 when I attended our high school batch reunion and my best friend and I had to go home early, he offered to give us a ride. I think the only thing I ever said to him back then was "thank you." LOL so when we kinda talked on facebook, I was wondering why he was talking to me, maybe it was my fault for randomly adding people on my other account, but I never really intended to talk to him or anything. But then he talked to me, and talking to him felt really nice in a weird way, I was scared though. I was afraid that I might see the good side of him and I might end up liking him so I did a lot of stuff to prevent myself from falling, but I did fall. Before he came back, I did something that I wish I didn't do. I was caught by surprise when he came back 2 days after I did the deed that might've made him avoid me. But I'm not sure. Having him in my life was a blessing, I felt really blessed when he was there. We don't talk about emotional and personal stuff all the time, but he sort of changed me in a good way.. Maybe this is not karma after all. He might have had a purpose for existing in my life for a short period of time, maybe it's for the better. After I told him that I like him and I give up (yeah, I told him that at the same time) I know that I have to move on.. Maybe the next time he comes home, I might be able to smile at him wholeheartedly.

I guess I understand why he never opened up a lot of stuff. He's been through so much pain that he actually put up a barrier or just simply emotionally detached to every new person he meets. Maybe that's it. I only wanted him to be my friend, even though I like him a lot, I wanted him to be my friend for a lifetime.. But that's not gonna happen anymore.. CIAO! Until the next time I notice my journal tab ^^