Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I can't quite explain the sensation or exactly what is happening other than... I say something and then there are responses. My mind tries to go one direction but then there are these voices that guide me in a different direction.

"Where are you going" he asked.
I look around and I am suddenly aware once more of where I am. Images flash in my mind of being in his apartment and this knowledge that there is this other past. I'm in high school. My name's Sakura.
"You could stay here, with me, forever."
I want that so badly. I want to feel his arms around me or to simply know that there is someone there and I am not alone. I want that piece of me to love me.

My body hates me. It truly hates me. If I look into the mirror it only sees this thing.
I called internal repair. Everything is going to be alright.
I stand up from the sink. All these thoughts, they aren't real. Being with him, I could never rewrite the past. I can't fix the future. I really do want him with me again. I don't know how to create him out of the darkness. I ... don't know if it is even possible.

WHY IS IT EVERYONE ELSE GETS THEIR ******** DREAM AND THEN THEY TOSS IT AWAY! They.... get them there in reality. Even if they are ghosts or figmits of their mind, at least they know or can see them there! All I have are my memories.
All patched up darling. [/ kisses the band-aides] A kiss will make it better <3
I have to look my best. Let's put that lipstick that spells nice on. Much better. And now a little brush again to your hair and it will be perfect. Absolutely lovely. Must always look my best.

Why does it feel different in this room? There's ... no warmth. The heat isn't here. The tears don't flow anymore. Why does it feel like I'm being put back together in here? Like I am being set up like a doll or old person with a nurse? WHY DON'T I FEEL LIKE ME!
I want to write. I want to communicate it, but there are so many roads. They keep speaking and taking me down another right after I start one. How can I finish a path if they all go down a different one.
I am torn.

I am frag.
Fragmented Dreamer.