I can't think of a title for this entry. It's been a long time since I last made one.....Because I don't have anything specific to tackle in this entry, an appropriate title was too hard for me to think of :s
I used to keep my journal much better than this. I have previously put my journal neglect down to me feeling fed up. I think that was true, but now I've also gotten out of the habit of regularly writing/typing entries. Now I am less fed up...but I also have next to nothing to write about e-e
Well, I'm halfway through my gap year, I recently sent off my UCAS and I've had my two exam resits. Now that those two things have been done, I don't really know what to do ._. My approach to this year was:
-revise for your exams
-get university sorted out
-worry about everything else after these two things are over
So I'm on the other side of those two things and I have to face up to the fact that I'm unemployed and there's no point to my life.
I did my music theory exam! :D I haven't done an entry for that.
That was in november, but I only got the certificate a week ago because......
Long boring story: It was posted to my piano teacher's house, but it was too big for the letterbox and no one was in to collect it, so it went back to london and we only recently found out that it was down there SO only recently requested for it to be sent back up.
Grade 5 music theory, 97/100 C: Distinction~
I've been thinking - my feeling of self worth is heavily dependant on external verification and reassurance. I find it really hard to conjure up a feeling of value my myself. It has to come from someone else OR an exam result.....
:/
I feel diluted.
I'm definitely nowhere near as bad as I was this time last year
I think the fact that I don't have much direction or any proper goal or any daily commitment allows me to tune out a bit.
Argh, if only I was religious and spiritual, maybe then I'd feel like there was more of a meaning.
 Lady-Shiro · Mon Jan 30, 2012 @ 01:03am · 0 Comments |
