A young girl stands there, a bright light seemingly shining on her. Many men turn to look at her, but she looks to the ground. She then sees someone on the horizon, and she calls out;
"Kisa-kun! Kisa-kun!"
The man she sees looks up with a tired face. He's attractive, but the bags under his eyes detract from his beauty.
"Kisa-kun!" She giggled and ran up to him.
The poor man sighed tiredly and thought to himself; 'It's wrong to be that beautiful...'
He looked down to her.
"I'm sorry I made you wait."
She shook her head, smiling. "No, I just got here as well!"
The man tilted his head with an exhausted look, and sighed.
"Are you alright? Your face is rather pale."
He looked up. "Huh? Oh... I didn't get home since this morning...or...no, this afternoon."
"Huh!? Whadda ya mean?!" she gasped, "Are you cheating on me?!"
"Of course not, it was work, you idiot!"
My name is Shouta Kisa, and I'm twenty...for some reason, I'm going out with this 17-year-old girl named Yukina Kou. I used to admire her as a princess from afar...
"Anyway, don't get so close..."
"What do you mean, silly? Hey, Kisa-kun!....Ki-sa-kun!"
I just can't take her beauty when I'm this tired... but then, once we're together...
Well...we are human, after all...So to my apartment we went.
"Oh...this is so...embarrassing..." she giggled.
"Come now, don't play shy..." I began to unbutton her uniform.
"B-but...My heart races every time I'm here with you...l-like this..." she had that coy smile I love so much. I gave a shy,put-off expression. She sat up to look at me.
"So do you want me to do...anything?" she licked her lips with that same smirk. I stiffened up.
"Wh-whatever you please." I gave a blush. Oh, I hope she didn't notice.
"Mm..." she softly kissed me, but grew rougher as I felt her tongue prodding into my mouth....
She is my ideal. Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine that we would be together...so I should just enjoy this moment. But instead, here I am, being so insecure...
When I woke, she was dressed and awake, cooking me something. I could hear the clatter...
"Ah, are you awake? I made a little something. Do you want to eat now?"
"I'm sorry. I don't even remember falling asleep."
"Sounds like your work is pretty rough right now."
"I finished the last bit of editing, so our workload should be getting lighter....but...you're amazing! You can even cook..."
"I can cook, but I'm bad at it." she smiled at me while she poured me some coffee.
"That's actually something a friend taught me to cook. It may actually taste good." she laughed. "He and I went to college together."
I suddenly got uneasy. "Huh...so... it was a guy."
"Yea, he was a culinary major. Why do you ask?" she handed me the glass of chilled coffee.
"Never mind. It's nothing." Yea, like hell it was. Well...I guess it's normal that she'd have a few guy friends. "Hey...I wanted to apologize for earlier today. We haven't seen each other in a while, so I thought we should go somewhere."
"But you couldn't have, anyway. You looked as if you would've collapsed then and there!" she held that smile.
"But still, I--" she cut me off.
"That reminds me! Are you free next Sunday? This exhibit I want to check out is ending on that day..."
"Oh, sorry. I've got a meeting on that day."
"On a Sunday?"
"The author lives far away, and is coming to Tokyo on that day. We rarely meet, so I wanted to take that chance."
"...I see."
I could tell she had disappointment in her voice. We've been out for about a year, but to be honest, we've never gone out for a single date. And...at this rate, I doubt we ever will. I feel guilty about it, but she's always like...
"You can't help it. It's work." she cracked a helpless smile.
There it was..."Maybe next time. Oh, do you mind if I turn on the TV? There's a show that's on that I want to watch."
"Go ahead." Ugh, why did I have to say it so pathetically? I don't know...Why does she always give up so easily? It's always, 'maybe next time'. I'm so sick of hearing it. Even though...it has usually been my fault. We're together, so wouldn't she have at least a few complaints like, 'Oh, but why?' or, 'You always work!'...But...she's always so quiet. Since she's always so understanding, I can't help but think, "Maybe she doesn't even love me" cross my mind. We don't go on dates...we don't even share hobbies. And yet we have sex...Well...I suppose you can do that, even if you don't love someone...
No way! The old me would never slack off like that! She turned her head and smiled at me again.
Even if she is a bit of a show-off,he can be serious, too. Still....Yukina's popularity is unmatched. Not only is she attractive, but also a bit mild-mannered. Like a cute girl-next-door type. There's no way the guys can leave a princess like her alone. I'd be the first one to ask why she chose me. I get the feeling that we really don't match... Or am I just thinking too much? No...in my experience, this means...I'm getting jerked around...I'm so wishy-washy...
"Kisa-kun! Look at this! I love this artist..."
"Oh. Yea, I think I learned about him in junior high."
Oh~ But no matter how many times I look at her, I just love her smiling face.
"I love the colors, themes, and even the fairy-tale aspect of it~" she smiled happily.
No...it's not just her face I love. It's...her.
"Thanks for the food." I stood up to go wash my plate.
What is wrong with me? A few months ago, I wouldn't have felt like this much of a hot mess... back when I thought love was just a frick'n pain in the a**, when I didn't give a damn about what anyone else thought. But I feel myself going insane with each second. In the beginning, I was happy just knowing her name. I thought I was lucky just to talk to her... But then I wanted her to touch me...touch me, and kiss me, and...I thought I was dreaming. I remember the first time she said, 'I love you, Kisa.'...
And now I want to have her completely to myself...
She walked up from behind me as I washed, and held me from behind. She gently bit my ear. "Would you like some coffee? I was given a bag of fresh beans..."
I mean...if the epitome of your ideals appeared in front of you, of course you would...
"Yea, I'll have some coffee."
That's what's making me so nervous. An Ideal girlfriend, who never complains. If I flip the situation, doesn't that just mean she doesn't love me? Then again, I could just ask her... but what would I do if we broke up over that? God, you'd think I was old enough to handle this a bit better. It's all just so new to me, I don't know what to do.
She leaned over and kissed my neck deeply, setting the bag of coffee down.
...What do you do about love?
A few days later, I'm at work, and I can't believe it. The author that just turned in her manuscript has offers coming in to make a movie! I want to work twice as hard now as I ever did...but... the more you work on something,the more neglected you become...
My cell rang. It was a text from Yukina... She wanted to meet up and go out to eat something. A date. But...I have so much work. So I reply:
I'm sorry...I was in a meeting. I can't come, but, thanks for the invitation."
This is bad. Even if I can't...
My phone rang again.
"It's alright, I know you had to work late. I'm fine though, we can do something next time!"
Crap,this is bad...she's not even minutely angry. It would be completely understandable if she stopped even...giving me attention at all. Or maybe she already has...but going over at two in the morning would be so bothersome for her.
And I certainly don't want to do my work with a half-assed attitude. How the hell do people balance their love and work lives?
I came home to my apartment from a long day's work...but then my phone rang.
"Hey, Shouta!"
Oh. It was just my old friend from high school.
"So guess what! I'm getting hitched!"
As loud as he said that, I hit the tea kettle and burned my arm. I tried to bear it as he told me the news.
"The ceremony is being held in France. Can you come?"
I quickly bandaged myself.
"Are you crazy? There's no way I can just up and go in the middle of proofing!"
"You're so mean....well, we were thinking of throwing a party for our friends once we get back. I hope you'll come to that!"
"Suppose so."
"You can just give us the gift then!"
"Why don't you just pay for yourself? I'm broke from giving gifts to all these people around me who are getting married."
I poured myself the water into a cup of noodles, just to prove such statement...
He chuckled."Well, we are at that age, huh? You should get married, so we can throw you a party!" he laughed.
"So am I right if I say that this girl is different from the one you were with for ten years?"
"Y-Yea..."
"And so why did you split up?"
"I thought I would marry her, too. I don't know how to put it...I guess we just...drifted apart?"
I couldn't help but gasp.
"It's not like we had a big blow-up or anything. We were just really busy with work and ended up drifting apart. Then one day we both noticed it wasn't working anymore..."
I feared this...
"But...it's not like you weren't aware of the other's strengths and weaknesses,right? Just because you drifted apart a little..." I tried to plea...
"That's what I thought, too, but once you start slipping, you can't go back..."
"Is...that true?"
"You've got to watch out,dude. Especially in literary work like yourself. The type of job that just eats up your private life...Calls and texts aren't enough. You have to answer face-to-face."
This isn't what I want to be hearing. My work is important to me, and I can't slack off. I also don't want to lose Yukina. But at this rate...what should I do?
The next day, I went to work as usual. But I know Yukina has the night shift today, so it might work. I can meet her at 7, and then I can go back to work when her shift starts. I texted her; "I'm free at 7, you want to meet up tonight?"
There is an instant reply. "Really? I'll be there! My shift doesn't start until 8,so this is perfect!"
Yes! I'm going to see her today! It doesn't even have to be long. I just want to see her, and talk to her...And tell her I'm sorry for not having enough time. Because if I don't...I'm going to lose her...
After an hour of work, I finish the Manuscript plan and finally staple it all. If I leave now, I can make it to--
Suddenly, the co-editor stopped me. "Hey, Kisa!"
"What? I'm leaving for an hour on some personal business."
"I'm glad I caught you before you left! This fax just came for you, and the head office wants you to start the storyboard from scratch on this project."
"Why?! We already okayed this one, what's wrong with it?!"
"Don't ask me! Anyway, how is the manuscript? It's already very, very late!"
Why does this have to come up NOW?? What is there to change?!!
No, this storyboard isn't good at all! Why does it have to change? It was fine before!
Could this be some weird pressure now used to give me a most inopportune time just to add suspense to this story?
...I've got to do something before it's too late! I picked up the phone and glanced at the clock. I have to call Yukina to tell her I'll be late...Seeing her later will cheer me up. I dial her number.
*Beep Beep, The person you have reached has their phone off. Please call again later.*
s**t! Why the hell doesn't she use voice-mail?! I'll send her a text, at least...I hear the voice of the head editor.
"Kisa! This storyboard is a piece of crap!"
"********! I know already! I'm calling the author now!"
Ugh, I hate this! If this were a romance novel, I'd be throwing away everything I had for my love. But this is real life...
I stayed there talking to the author for about an hour. As I ran out of the building, I quickly called Yukina. She picked up.
"Hello?"
"Yukina? Sorry, I just got out of work. I had an emergency, I'm sorry!"
"Why don't we do something next time, then?"
I stopped running.
"They said the subway was delayed because of an accident, so I probably won't make it on time."
"But--!"
"Sorry. It's almost time for me to work,anyway."
".....Sure.....I'm really, really sorry...I invited you, after all."
"It's fine. Work is work, after all. Anyways, I'm fine."
I stopped and sighed. Why is she 'fine'? I know it's my fault, so why's she being so diplomatic about it?
"Bye then."
"Wait! What about after your shift?"
"But that's so late. You don't have to push yourself. And after all, I--"
"But it's fine!!"
I don't understand why I'm so upset about this.
"...Kisa...I'm not mad about it at all..."
"BUT YOU SHOULD BE MAD, YOU IDIOT!!!"
I hung up. 'Idiot'? Hah...the only idiot here is me. This is bad...I have to apologize, or...
My phone rang again. A text from her.
"I'm going to work now. It'll be late when I get off, so I'll call tomorrow."
I really shouldn't be so insecure...I finally realized that I'm in love with Yukina.
I didn't want to go back to work...so I went to the bookshop. When she got off,I could at least walk her home. I sat on the pole gate, waiting for her to come out...
First I have to apologize...then...um...oh, it doesn't matter. I just want to talk to her...Five minutes is enough, I just want to see her face. And I want to stop feeling so insecure.
She walked out of the bookshop in her coat that she always wears for the winter. Black, fluffy, velvet and minx jacket...
I began to call out her name, "Yuki--!"
Suddenly, a tall guy in a dark green sweater called her out. "Kou-chan! Were you waiting long?"
"No, I just got off work, silly!"
I was shocked...No...not Yukina...not my Yukina-chan...
They began to walk down the street, not even noticing me. But then...no...
He took her hand and turned the corner. I hesitated,but began to follow them. No...wait....that's not it...no..that's where all the...!
...
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